DAILY DIRT: ‘If you won the lottery, would you still love me?’

February 7, 2024 | By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2024

Wednesday is often considered the most unpopular day of the week. Here’s a few light thoughts to help you get past hump day … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 859 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Welcome to hump day. At this point of the week, we all need a little humor to not only get through today but the rest of the week, too.

Here’s my medal-worthy jokes of the day. I think they’ll make Wednesday a bit more bearable:

Gold medal: “Why do they say “Amen” and not “A woman” at the end of songs at church? Because they are “hymns,” not “hers.”

Silver medal: “At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 10 miles a day. She’s now 92, and we have no idea where she is.”

Bronze medal: “My wife said, ‘If you won the lottery, would you still love me?’ I said, ‘Of course I would … I’d miss you, but I’d still love you’.”

2. This Week’s celebrity birthdays:

Comedian Chris Rock is 58 today. Wonder if Will Smith was invited to the party?
Singer Garth Brooks turns 62, also today. “The Dance,” from 1989, will always be my favorite song from this artist.
Former MLB outfielder Lenny Dykstra will be 61 on Saturday. Have you ever stopped and thought how much trouble the star players on those mid-1980s Mets team managed to get into? Dykstra, Strawberry, Gooden …
Singer Sheryl Crow will be 61 on Sunday. Would anyone argue that “If It Makes You Happy”(1996) and “First Cut Is the Deepest” (2003) are her finest offerings?
Actress Jennifer Aniston blows out 55 candles, also on Sunday. Wow, it’s hard to believe she’s been around that long, but it’s been quite a while since “Friends” (1994-2004) dominated the Thursday night TV schedule on NBC.

3. Fifty-five years ago — that would be 1969 for the mathematically impaired — these were the top 10 tunes on the radio:

1. “I Heard It Through The Grapevine,” by Marvin Gaye: Remember when this song was used as the background for all of those raisin commercials?
2. “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me,” by Diana Ross and the Supremes and the Temptations: This was a magical pairing for Motown.
3. “Soulful Strut,” by Young Holt Unlimited: As a wee lad, I never cared for most instrumentals, including this one.
4. “Crimson and Clover,” by Tommy James and the Shondells: There were both radio friendly (a.k.a. short) and extended versions of this song. I’ll give you one guess which one I preferred.
5. “Hooked On A Feeling,” by B.J. Thomas: Thomas had a string of solid hits in the late ’60s. This might have been the best.
6. “Wichita Lineman,” by Glen Campbell: One of those songs that always caused me to change the channel on the radio. Ugh.
7. “For Once In My Life,” by Stevie Wonder: If you didn’t live through this era, it’s hard to describe just how popular Stevie was.
8. “Touch Me,” by the Doors: Jim Morrison was arguably the best front man for a rock group during his short time on this earth.
9. “The Worst That Could Happen,” by the Brooklyn Bridge: For the record, my favorite song back in ninth grade. (Rod Stewart had not arrived in my universe.)
10. “Son Of A Preacher Man,” by Dusty Springfield: I could listen to Dusty sing all day, all night.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I bought six of those aforementioned 10 songs back when 45s were a thing: Nos. 1, 2, 4, 5, 8 and 9. And I remember correctly, they were 99 cents apiece.