DAILY DIRT: ‘If you won the lottery, would you still love me?’

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2024

Wednesday is often considered the most unpopular day of the week. Here’s a few light thoughts to help you get past hump day … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 859 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Welcome to hump day. At this point of the week, we all need a little humor to not only get through today but the rest of the week, too.

Here’s my medal-worthy jokes of the day. I think they’ll make Wednesday a bit more bearable:

Gold medal: “Why do they say “Amen” and not “A woman” at the end of songs at church? Because they are “hymns,” not “hers.”

Silver medal: “At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 10 miles a day. She’s now 92, and we have no idea where she is.”

Bronze medal: “My wife said, ‘If you won the lottery, would you still love me?’ I said, ‘Of course I would … I’d miss you, but I’d still love you’.”

2. This Week’s celebrity birthdays:

• Comedian Chris Rock is 58 today. Wonder if Will Smith was invited to the party?
• Singer Garth Brooks turns 62, also today. “The Dance,” from 1989, will always be my favorite song from this artist.
• Former MLB outfielder Lenny Dykstra will be 61 on Saturday. Have you ever stopped and thought how much trouble the star players on those mid-1980s Mets team managed to get into? Dykstra, Strawberry, Gooden …
• Singer Sheryl Crow will be 61 on Sunday. Would anyone argue that “If It Makes You Happy”(1996) and “First Cut Is the Deepest” (2003) are her finest offerings?
• Actress Jennifer Aniston blows out 55 candles, also on Sunday. Wow, it’s hard to believe she’s been around that long, but it’s been quite a while since “Friends” (1994-2004) dominated the Thursday night TV schedule on NBC.

3. Fifty-five years ago — that would be 1969 for the mathematically impaired — these were the top 10 tunes on the radio:

• 1. “I Heard It Through The Grapevine,” by Marvin Gaye: Remember when this song was used as the background for all of those raisin commercials?
• 2. “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me,” by Diana Ross and the Supremes and the Temptations: This was a magical pairing for Motown.
• 3. “Soulful Strut,” by Young Holt Unlimited: As a wee lad, I never cared for most instrumentals, including this one.
• 4. “Crimson and Clover,” by Tommy James and the Shondells: There were both radio friendly (a.k.a. short) and extended versions of this song. I’ll give you one guess which one I preferred.
• 5. “Hooked On A Feeling,” by B.J. Thomas: Thomas had a string of solid hits in the late ’60s. This might have been the best.
• 6. “Wichita Lineman,” by Glen Campbell: One of those songs that always caused me to change the channel on the radio. Ugh.
• 7. “For Once In My Life,” by Stevie Wonder: If you didn’t live through this era, it’s hard to describe just how popular Stevie was.
• 8. “Touch Me,” by the Doors: Jim Morrison was arguably the best front man for a rock group during his short time on this earth.
• 9. “The Worst That Could Happen,” by the Brooklyn Bridge: For the record, my favorite song back in ninth grade. (Rod Stewart had not arrived in my universe.)
• 10. “Son Of A Preacher Man,” by Dusty Springfield: I could listen to Dusty sing all day, all night.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I bought six of those aforementioned 10 songs back when 45s were a thing: Nos. 1, 2, 4, 5, 8 and 9. And I remember correctly, they were 99 cents apiece.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He said the Little Woman already won the lottery … when she met him.