Daily Dirt: If you’re an equal opportunity eater, go with the Royal New York Cheesecake

Dairy Queen? Who doesn’t love a trip to Dairy Queen? Especially for blizzards, which are the subject of the first of the three thoughts that make up Vol. 186 of the Daily Dirt.

1. One of my most favorite places to go at any time of the year is Dairy Queen.

That one is located about five minutes from the Eighinger hacienda is, in my mind, divine intervention.Arguably my favorite item to order at Dairy Queen is the blizzard, and I really don’t have specific favorite. I’m an equal opportunity eater, and here are my top five favorite blizzards:

• 1. Royal New York Cheesecake: It actually TASTES like cheesecake. Seriously.
• 2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup: Chocolate, peanut butter and ice cream. Come on! Let’s eat!
• 3. Turtle Pecan: Admit it. At just the sound of those words, your knees grow weak.
• 4. Choco-Dipped Strawberry: Right now you’re thinking … it even SOUNDS good.
• 5. Snickers: I like the candy bar by itself, too.

2. On this day, if I had my way …

• Any establishment or food stand selling hot dogs would also be required to offer brats, too.
• Al Michaels would broadcast all Super Bowl games until he feels it is time to retire.
• All clothing stores would be required to carry men’s shirt sizes above 2XL. This is 2022, and people are naturally larger than they were 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago. Myself included.
• Suzi Quatro would be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
• So would the Bangles.– The MLB playoffs would be expanded to 14 teams.
• All taco-serving establishments would offer hard AND soft shells.
• Popcorn would never be served without butter. A lot of butter.
• All movie tickets would be $20, and include a sizable bag of popcorn, soda and box of candy.

3. Our collection of medal-winning license plates in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri marches on:

Gold medal: ABC. Simple, to the point. A teacher, perhaps?

Silver medal (tie): P CLEV  6 and CLEV 90. I’m handing out a tie to these two cars, who I found parked in the same row in a parking lot, about a half-dozen vehicles apart. I’m betting at least one of them is a Cleveland Indians fan from some of those early 1990s powerhouses.

Bronze medal: BOGEY 48. A local golfer born 74 years ago?

Steve Fact O’ The Day
Steve is now wondering if it would be possible to eat all five of those blizzards at one sitting.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. There is no question he could eat all five blizzards in one sitting.