DAILY DIRT: I’m pretty sure I’ve already passed that 35,000-cookie mark

A bible written completely in Klingon? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 426 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Let’s start off the week with some fun facts.

Feel free to use the following as conversation starters or to win trivia contests. You can thank me later.

• — The average American will eat 35,000 cookies in their lifetime. (I/m not sure, but I feel like I’m probably ahead of the curve.)
• — If you sneeze traveling 60 mph, your eyes are closed for an average of 50 feet. (What if you sneeze with your eyes wide open?)
• — A single strand of spaghetti is called a “spaghetto.” (Wouldn’t “spaghettite” make more sense?)
• — German chocolate cake is named after an American baker named Samuel German. (So … who is Canadian bacon named after? Asking for a friend.)
• — In 2016, Domino’s tested pizza delivery via reindeer in Japan. (I’m sure the reindeer probably got there faster than some of the Domino’s drivers.)
• — The average raindrop falls at 7 mph. (Wouldn’t it pick up speed the farther it falls? And wouldn’t high-speed raindrops be leaving dents and/or breaking things?)
• — The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backward. (Do they make that little “beep” “beep” “beep” sound, too? You know, like the trucks do when backing away from a building?)
• — The full Bible has been translated into more than 3,000 languages. Among those are fictional languages like Elvish, Klingon and Na’vi. (I will HAVE to get ahold of a Klingon bible.)
• — Elephants are the only mammal that can’t jump.(Do I count as a mammal?)
• — The world’s termites outweigh the world’s humans about 10 to 1. (Well, that is NOT encouraging.)
• — The television was invented two years after the invention of sliced bread. (I’m not sure what value this really has, but for some reason I find it incredibly interesting.)
• — Mosquitoes have 47 teeth. (Sometimes seems like 147 when they bite.)
• — There is a McDonald’s in every continent except Antarctica. (And if there were one in Antarctica, its lobby would not be open. Drive-through only.)
• — Animals that lay eggs don’t have belly buttons. (I fail to see any kind of connection. Animals that lay eggs also don’t have six heads.)
• — Boanthropy is the psychological disorder in which patients believe they are a cow. (How does this even happen?)

2. One more fun fact:

Only twice in the last 36 years has MLB’s youngest team qualified for the playoffs — the world champion 1986 New York Mets and 2022 Cleveland Guardians.

3. Here’s the latest edition of craziest town names found across the globe:

Gold medal: Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada. Named by explorer Capt. James Cook, who obviously had a sense of humor. Dildo is located on Labrador Island of Newfoundland.

Silver medal: Weed, Calif. And where else would you expect the town of Weed to be?

Bronze medal: Middlefart, Denmark: This is not to be confused with Fart, Va.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I still think that “spaghettite” thing is a great idea. I may have to call Chef Boyardee. By the way, remember when it was referred to as Chef Boy-Ar-Dee?

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He’s also never been seen in the same place as Chef Boyardee.