DAILY DIRT: Is it time to blow this popsicle stand?

Does anyone actually know anyone named Mildred in this day and age? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,002 of The Daily Dirt.

1. You know when are officially labeled an old person?

If you are currently employing any of the following phrases on a regular basis, you are old. But there are different degrees of “old”. Let me explain:

You’re probably in your 50s or early 60s if any of the following are a regular part of your vocabulary:

• “Let’s high-tail it out of here”
• “Let’s get this show on the road”
• “Time to hit the road” 

You’re definitely an older boomer if either of these two phrases find their way into your conversations. You’re at least 70, and were once a huge fan of “Gunsmoke,” judging by the second:

• “Let’s rock and roll”
• “Let’s get the heck out of Dodge”

Any of these sound familiar? If so, check your birth certificate. You were likely born in the 1940s:

• “Let’s skeedaddle”
• “Saddle up, partners”
• “Let’s blow this popsicle stand”

That’s all for today, it’s time to go. Let’s get the heck out of Dodge.

2. Did you know (Part 62)

That in the 1940s the average cost of a pound of hamburger was 27 cents, a movie ticket cost $25 cents, gas was 18 cents a gallon, a new car averaged about $850, a loaf of bread was 9 cents and a pair of women’s shoes cost $3.19.

The lowest price of a hot dog at an MLB stadium is $2.55 in Toronto. The most expensive is $8.39 in Oakland.

The average gas expulsion leaves your body at 7 mph.

The name “Mildred” was sixth most popular name for a baby girl in the United States in 1920, but by 1985 it did not even rank in the top 1,000.

The all-time best-selling NBA jerseys are: 1. Michael Jordan, 2. Kobe Bryant, 3. LeBron James, 4. Magic Johnson, 5. Larry Bird, 6. Steph Curry, 7. Shaquille O’Neal, 8. Julius Erving, 8. Allen Iverson, 10. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

3. Drinks you will never taste again:

• Life Savers soda (discontinued in 1982).
• Slice soda (discontinued in 2000).
• Tab Clear soda (discontinued in 1994).
• Lemon Ice Gatorade (discontinued in 2000).
• Kickapoo Joy Juice citrus soda (discontinued in 2011).
• Zima malt beverage (discontinued  in 2008).
• Fanta apple soda (discontinued in 2012).
• Capri Sun Mystic Dragon (discontinued in 2010s)
• Red Bull Cola (discontinued in 2011).
• Cactus Cooler orange pineapple soda (discontinued 2019).

Does anyone really miss any of those?

Steve Thought O’ The Day — And let’s never forget Max Headroom and New Coke, which was mercifully and forever discontinued in 2002 after being renamed Coke II in 1990. New Coke was originally launched in 1985.

Steve EIghinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He was a big Zima guy back in the day.