Daily Dirt: Is there any doubt about Jerry’s most famous line?

My wife could have played a Seinfeld character. She’s a low talker, too … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,265 of The Daily Dirt.

Here we go with day two of our mini-tribute to the principal characters on “Seinfeld.” I hope you enjoy my five favorite moments dedicated to Jerry.

1. “Hello, Newman.” Zac Wensel of movieweb.com may have said it best: “It may not be the wittiest, the funniest and certainly not the nicest, but it is without a doubt the most iconic Jerry Seinfeld line from the entirety of the show. Although only spoken 18 times throughout the 180-episode series, anytime we felt Newman approaching, Jerry’s disdain-filled greeting was sure to follow.”

2. “I don’t wanna be a pirate.” Few things from television pop culture will go down as famously as the puffy shirt worn by Jerry on the segment aptly titled, “The Puffy Shirt,” undoubtedly one of the premier episodes of the entire series. When Kramer’s low-talking girlfriend asks Jerry to wear her newest shirt on a TV appearance, Jerry agrees, not knowing 100 percent what she has asked of him (because she was, after all, a low talker). Upon discovering what the shirt looks like, Kramer attempts to reassure Jerry that he looks good, that he looks like a pirate. Thus, one of the most iconic Jerry lines was born.

3. “So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an eclair in the receptacle and you think to yourself, ‘What the hell, I’ll just eat some trash.'” Remember when George was caught taking a bite out of an éclair he took out of a trash can? I thought you would. Jerry’s remark is simply priceless.

4. “Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.” In case you forgot, the girl in question during this “cleavage etiquette” exchange between Jerry and George was Denise Richards.

5. “She said I wasn’t sponge-worthy. Wouldn’t waste a sponge on me.” This 1995 episode revolved around Elaine’s attempts to procure her favorite form of birth control, the discontinued Today sponge, and her rationing them based on whether a potential partner was “sponge-worthy.” The highlight was Jerry’s comment above to George during a street-side conversation awaiting the arrival of Kramer.

On tap Saturday: You know her, you love her. Elaine.

2. Did you know (Part 343) …

• Rosie O’Donnell auditioned for the role of Elaine. Glad that didn’t work out.
• Kramer’s original name on the show was “Kessler,” which he was known as on the program’s pilot episode.
• George Costanza appeared in 171 of the show’s 172 episodes.
• Instead of Elaine, the original idea for the main female character on “Seinfeld” was a waitress named Claire.
• The familiar corner restaurant known as “Monk’s” on the show, is actually a diner called “Tom’s Restaurant” on Broadway and W. 112th in New York City. Before it gained recognition from “Seinfeld,” it had earned limited fame as the basis of the 1981 Suzanne Vega song, “Tom’s Diner.”

3. Our celebrity birthdays for the week include:

• Actor Al Pacino turns 85 today. “Scarface” is my favorite film of his.
• Sportscaster Joe Buck reaches birthday No. 56, also today. He takes a lot of heat, but I think he works well with Troy Aikman on their NFL telecasts.
• First lady Melania Trump will be 55 on Saturday. I bet she makes The Don toe a straight line.
• Guitarist Ace Frehley of KISS turns 74 on Sunday. He’s back, back in the New York groove.
• Singer Willie Nelson reaches 92 on Tuesday. “Always On My Mind” will forever be my favorite song from Willie.

Steve Thought O’ The Day
Whew! I still can’t over the thought of Rosie O’Donnell as Elaine.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Steve didn’t want to be a pirate either.