Daily Dirt: It can be a long season if you don’t care for your team’s announcers

Daily Dirt for Thursday, July 18, 2024

Honestly, you can’t go wrong with any of the broadcast teams listed in my top five. Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,009 of The Daily Dirt.

1. There can be no greater love affair — or disdain — than that of a baseball fan and his or her favorite MLB team’s lineup of announcers.

Think about it. MLB fans invest a lot of time in front of a TV set during a 162-game, six-month season. We spend more time listening to our favorite baseball guys than we do most family members. (Harsh but true.)

That’s why it’s always interesting to see where some of my favorite announcing teams are listed in the AwfulAnnouncing.com annual rankings of MLB on-air talent.

I watch a lot of baseball between April and September, and I have quite a few announcing combos I enjoy spending the spring, summer and early fall months with regularly. 

Before I give you AwfulAnnouncing.com‘s rankings, let me give you mine:

• 1. San Francisco Giants: Duane Kuiper and Mike Krukow are the unquestioned kings. The Giants are boring as sin, but Kuip and Kruk are great late-night entertainment.
• 2. Los Angeles Dodgers: Joe Davis and Orel Hershiser both allow the game itself to tell the story. Their understated, almost cerebral approach is a welcome relief from many MLB broadcasters who simply need to TURN DOWN THE VOLUME.
• 3. New York Mets: Let’s be honest, the Mets (from the front office to the field) can be a trying bunch, but the announcing team of Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez is sharp, articulate (especially Darling) and oh-so knowledgeable. I always feel smarter after listening to these guys talk baseball for three hours.
• 4. San Diego Padres: I have this tandem in the top five mainly because of the presence of play-by-play man Don Orsillo, who I am confident has never endured a bad day in his life. Analyst Mark Grant is acceptable, but lifted to greater heights by his partner.
• 5. Chicago White Sox: Analyst Steve Stone is the best in the business and is helping rookie John Schiffren wade through a rough first season, considering just how wretched the Chisox are.
• Best new tandem: Detroit Tigers. The Tigers stole Jason Benetti from the White Sox following 2023, and no matter who they pair him with (even the incredibly boring Kirk Gibson), the broadcasts are always entertaining (unlike in the past). Benetti is that good. Give him a better analyst for 2025, and Detroit might challenge for No. 1.

The AwfulAnnouncing.com top five:

• 1. New York Mets
• 2. San Francisco Giants (Kuiper and Krukow have been no lower than No. 2 in the AwfulAnnouncing.com rankings since 2014.)
• 3. San Diego Padres
• 4. Baltimore Orioles (While analyst Jim Palmer is second only to Steve Stone, the rest of the crew — Kevin Brown, Ben McDonald — is sorely lacking.) 
• 5. Los Angeles Dodgers

2. Did you know (Part 66) …

• Fizzies were discontinued in 1978. (For the record, I loved Fizzies.)
• Nestle’s Triple Decker candy bar was discontinued in the early 1970s.
• The Marathon candy bar was discontinued in 1981.
• Quake cereal was discontinued in 1973.
• Banana Frosted Flakes were discontinued in 1984.
• Jell-O Gelatin Pops were discontinued in 1987.
• Betty Crocker Pudding Roll-Ups were discontinued in 1987.
• Kellogg’s Danish Go-Rounds were discontinued in 1976.
• The PB Max candy bar was discontinued in 1994.
• Crystal Pepsi was discontinued in 1994.
• Life Savers Holes were discontinued in 1991.
• PB Crisps candies were discontinued in 1995.
• The Reggie candy bar was discontinued in 1981 (after Reggie Jackson left the Yankees).

3. No medal-winning license plates were discovered during the past week in West-Central Illinois or Northeast Missouri, some discoveries were still entertaining. Thanks to those who contributed to the Great Plate Debate of 2024.

Here’s a sampling of the entries we received at Daily Dirt world headquarters:

• RANDO
• WOW FAM 5
• MONKY 11
• EWWW5
• EWW2
• HAPPY 45
• DER DER 0
• NUT 3
• LUVPINK
• PKA PKA 2
• MRS DAD 2
• ICKBICH
• PUL EM 2
• NOT BIG 3

The reigning medal holders:

• Gold medal: GEM CITI 4
• Silver medal:U DRUNK
• Bronze medal:  CO XIST

Steve Thought O’ The Day
AwfulAnnouncing.com has the St. Louis TV team of Chip Caray and (fill in the blank) No. 23, the Cubs team of Jon Sciambi and Jim DeShaies at No. 9 and the Royals’ Ryan Lefebvre and Rex Hudler at No. 19.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. The fact he can rank his favorite announcing teams gives you an idea of just how much baseball he watches.