DAILY DIRT: It was just a growth spurt, she said

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Britney being Britney — Instagram

Daily Dirt for Saturday, Sept. 24, 2022

If nothing else, Britney is usually entertaining in way or another … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 405 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Let’s be honest. Some of our favorite celebrities are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Here are some cases in point, in medal-worthy form, of course:

Gold medal: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” — Brooke Shields. (Every time I read that, I start to get a migraine.)

Silver medal: “So where is the Cannes Film Festival being held this year.” — Christina Aguilera. (These people are allowed to walk around this world on their own, correct?)  

Bronze medal: “I’ll know when I know, and until I know, I don’t know.” — Justin Timberlake. (I actually understand that one …)

Honorable mention: “I might fade into Bolivian.” — Mike Tyson. (Way too many punches to the skull.)

Honorable mention: “What is my talent? Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball, and he’s talented. But he’s not famous.” — Kim Kardashian. (The woman has a point, folks.)

2. And then there is Britney Spears. Good ole Brit is on her own entire planet. See if you agree:

  • “I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt.” 
  • “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”
  • “I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.” 

You and me both, Brit. You and me both, babe.

3. This week’s Daily Dirt college football rankings and top-game picks:

  • 1. Alabama (3-0): The Tide gets to hammer pitiful Vanderbilt this week, then will face Arkansas, Texas A&M and Tennessee the ensuing three weeks.
  • 2. Georgia (3-0): It’s hard not to like Stetson Bennett.
  • 3. Ohio State (3-0): Buckeyes have their full complement of wide receivers (finally). I feel sorry for that Wisconsin secondary.
  • 4. Michigan (3-0): The Wolverines have “looked” better than I expected, but their preseason competition has been wretched. Their first real test may not come until Oct. 15 vs. Penn State. Michigan plays Maryland this week. which is basically a bye week.
  • 5. Kentucky (3-0): Wildcats have an excellent opportunity to be unbeaten going into Nov. 19 game with Georgia.
  • 6. Oklahoma (3-0): You realize Oklahoma could have hung a hundy on woeful Nebraska if it had wanted to, right?
  • 7. USC (3-0): Trojans should be simply outstanding by the time they begin Big Ten play in a couple of years.
  • 8. Arkansas (3-0): Remember those old Arkansas-Texas border wars? I always rooted for Arkansas. Nice to have the Hogs back, too.
  • 9. Oklahoma State (3-0): Cowboys have this week off after that light workout a week ago against Arkansas-Pine Bluff 
  • 10. Clemson (3-0): An interesting early season ACC matchup against Wake Forest. Expecting an upset? Don’t. It won’t be THAT interesting.

This week’s top games:

Ohio State 56, Wisconsin 14: The Buckeyes are breaking out the black uniforms Saturday night.

USC 31, Oregon State 21: This should be a great game, featuring USC, a team en route to reclaiming a position among the sport’s elite, and an Oregon State club that is, as they say, “on the way up.”

Arkansas 19, Texas A&M 17: There will be some bloody noses in this SEC brawl.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I wonder what it would actually be like to spend an hour conversing with Britney Spears? I’m guessing I would be a candidate for therapy. Or maybe she would.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He’s not the most compassionate soul in the world some days…

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