DAILY DIRT: Lady Gaga in ‘I Dream of Jeannie? Jack Black as Bud Bundy? Keanu Reeves as Batman?

Or should Lady Gaga be one of the new “Charlie’s Angels?” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 384 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Here are some more TV shows I think need a reboot: 

“I Dream of Jeannie” (1965-70): I would cast Lady Gaga as the new Barbara Eden and keep a similar storyline as the original fantasy sitcom. Lady Gaga was born to play a genie on network television, and how about Robert Downey Jr. replacing Larry Hagman as astronaut Tony Nelson? Maybe have Lady GaGa and Downey spend a season in space? The possibilities are endless.

“Charlie’s Angels” (1976-81): The original show was the best (of the various Angels takeoffs) by far, and that’s what a reboot should be based around. A 2020s version could incorporate more sophisticated gimmicks, weaponry and vehicles, but the bottom line would be who would portray the Angels. Here are my suggestions: Scarlett Johansson, Halle Berry and Margot Robbie. And as the new “Charlie” (or “Charlene”), how about Helen Mirren?

“Golden Girls” (1985-92): For this show to be successful these days, the ladies would need to have a bit more attitude. My ideal cast would include Wanda Sykes, Amy Schumer, Melissa McCarthy and Lisa Kudrow. Kudrow could be the new Rose (Betty White), Sykes the new  Sophia (Estelle Getty), Schumer the new Blanche (Rue McClanahan) and McCarthy the new Dorothy (Bea Arthur). The new “Golden Girls” would likely have to be farmed out to Netflix or Hulu, because some salty language would be required.

“Married … with Children” (1987-1997): One of the great sitcoms of all time. It’s been 25 years since it went off the air. Let’s bring it back at about the point where the series left off. I could see Vince Vaughn as the new Al Bundy (Ed O’Neill), Tina Fey as the new Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal), Amy Schumer as the new Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate) and David Spade or Jack Black as the new Bud Bundy (David Faustino). And, yes, I’m casting Amy Schumer in two shows.

“Batman” (1966-68): Keanu Reeves would be perfect as a stoic, yet kick-ass Batman who I would pair him with Mark Wahlberg as the new-age Robin. Our new Batman and Robin would rely more on brute force than technology. Ka-pow! Ooof! Wham! Ouch! (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Reeves is voicing Batman in the animated movie DC League of Super Pets, in theaters now. JRG)

2. This week’s favorites from the ongoing search for the Great Plate(s) in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri:

The past week’s favorites:

AN BYND: This was from one of our readers, who noted he saw the plates on an Infiniti. Get it? Buzz Lightyear, anyone?

MR. MATH 4: I’m guessing a teacher’s car.

EXRCYZ 1: Here’s one plate you would never find on one of my vehicles.

BARD: A fan of Shakespeare?

BURG: A fan of burgers?

2022 Current Medal Winners:

Gold Medal: FAV CAR 1. I wish I could come across this one again. I forgot to write down the the type and model of car it was on. I think it was kind of a lime green vehicle. If you see it, let me know.

Silver medal: 1 NDONE. 

Bronze medal: LUV YADI. Six months as No. 1 all but guarantees this to be our year-end champ, although there is always the chance we stumble upon a hidden gem between now the start of 2023.

3. Today’s little-known fact from pop music history:

The pop artist with the most cumulative weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 is Mariah Carey with 85. That’s just ahead of Elvis Presley (79) and well ahead of the Beatles (59) and Boys II Men (50).

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Remember the one year Mariah Carey was a judge on “American Idol?” It was Season 12 and the same year Nicki Minaj, Keith Urban and Randy Jackson served as the other panel members. Mariah refers to that as a “bleak experience.” It certainly was, Mariah, largely because of you. “Idol” was on a downward spiral at the time, and that season helped speed it closer to the proverbial cliff it eventually failed to negotiate.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Why the Hell would Mark Wahlberg play Robin?