DAILY DIRT: Late nights would be so much better with a new wave of Lettermans, Carsons and Lenos

Sadly, there will likely never be another David Letterman, Johnny Carson or Jay Leno… Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 316 of The Daily Dirt.

1. I’ve always been a night owl. Movies, talk shows, whatever.

Mornings are for sleeping, night time is for TV. Some of my most rewarding after-hour hours have been spent listening to the likes of David Letterman, Johnny Carson and others of that genre. But in recent years I have drifted away from the late-night talk shows because I got sick and tired of today’s alleged comedians throwing their political agendas in my face.

Sorry, but I can’t stand most of the current late-night mavens of the microphone.

Don’t try and impress me with how bright you want me to think you are — just tell me a joke and introduce a musical guest. With all of that in mind, here are my three all-time favorite late-night masters of entertainment. The key word there is “entertainment”. I think just about every current late-night personality needs a refresher course in that subject.

My favorites, in medal-worthy fashion:

Gold medal: David Letterman, who basically reinvented late-night television in the 1980s. He strayed a bit too much toward politics in his waning TV years, but for the large part, Letterman was magnificent throughout his run on both NBC and CBS.

Silver medal: Johnny Carson, who might be the most likeable late-night TV host ever. We all felt comfortable with Johnny.

Bronze medal: Jay Leno, whose “Headlines” was always a late-night classic.

2. Time for another musical journey, a tribute to the top 10 Billboard songs from 1982:

• 1. “Physical,” by Olivia Newton-John: One of the best videos of the Big 80s.
• 2. “Eye of the Tiger,” by Survivor: My favorite Survivor hits will always be “High On You” and “I Can’t Hold Back”. Lead singer Jimi Jamison died in 2014 at age 63, the result of a hemorrhagic brain stroke.
• 3. “I Love Rock ‘N Roll,” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: And we love Joan and her band.
• 4. “Ebony and Ivory,” by Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson: Third-worst song of that year.
• 5. “Centerfold,” by The J. Geils Band: Every teenage boy’s favorite song in the early part of this decade.
• 6. “Don’t You Want Me,” by Human League: Second-worst song of the year.
• 7. “Jack and Diane,” by John Cougar: One of my regrets is never seeing John Cougar (Mellencamp) in concert.
• 8. “Hurts So Good,” by John Cougar: Might be his best song ever.
• 9. “Abracadabra,” by Steve Miller Band: The absolute worst song of the year. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Yes, Steve is correct. This song sucks. JRG)
• 10. “Hard to Say I’m Sorry,” by Chicago: The band, and all of its versions, has receive ample praise over the years — but I still don’t feel it has been fully appreciated for what is has provided for multiple generations.

Songs that should have been in the top 10: No. 17. “Ley Largo” by Bertie Higgins; No. 22. “Always On My Mind,” by Willie Nelson; No. 31. “Hold Me,” by Fleetwood Mac.

3. Happy birthday wishes this week go out to:

• Singer Carly Simon will be 79 on Saturday: I always thought she could have been Mick Jagger’s twin.
• If alive today, Abner Doubleday would be 203 on Sunday: Abner’s given credit for inventing baseball. We are forever grateful, Abner.
• Singer/actor Kris Kristofferson will be 86 on Wednesday: One of my all-time favorite voices.
• Actress Meryl Streep will be 73 on Wednesday: Best actress of our generation?
• If alive, actor Errol Flynn would be 113 on Monday: Whether a World War II soldier, a spy or a western hero, Errol Flynn will always be my all-time favorite actor.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve always loved “Stupid Pet Tricks” on “Late Night With David Letterman.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Carly Simon’s age was incorrect in a previous version of this story.