DAILY DIRT: May the 4th be with you

And please don’t tell me you don’t know who Myron Floren was … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 939 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Each month we try and celebrate a series of actual holidays that most will ignore.

Here’s our list of celebrations for May:

May 4: May the 4th be with you: A national holiday for all Star Wars geeks. Did you know that MRN’s David Adam has NEVER seen a single movie in the Star Wars series?

May 6: No Diet Day: Truth be told, in the Eighinger household celebrate this holiday the other 364 days of the year, too.

May 6: Russell Stover Candies Day: Russ and I have been close friends for decades.

May 10: Clean Your Room Day: The Mancave COULD use a little organization and cleaning. I wonder what the Little Woman is doing today?

May 10: Hostess Cupcake Day: Seriously? I didn’t know this one existed. I’ll be celebrating with the chocolate and orange ones.

May 11: Eat What You Want Day: Again, I honestly don’t see how this would differ from the other 364 days.

May 11: World Belly Dance Today: Does anyone know where the nearest celebration might be?

May 17: National Pizza Party Day: Yes! Just give me a call, I’ll be happy to attend. 

May 18: I Love Reese’s Day: I assume that’s for Reese’s Cups, Pieces and anything else that involves chocolate and peanut butter.

May 24: National Polka Day: Hey, I used to play the accordion, and my specialty was “The Beer Barrel Polka”. (I know JRG and David Adam will not believe this, but I was known as the Myron Floren of Ashland, Ohio.)

May 24: Yucatan Shrimp Day: I love all shrimp, as long as they’re cooked.

May 25: Nerd Pride Day: Yes, I’d be at the head of the parade.

May 29: Learn About Composting Day: Well, here’s one to skip …

May 30: National Hamburger Day: There is nothing better than a holiday burger — made by someone else.

2. This week’s best of “Found on Facebook”:

• “Respect people who wear glasses. They paid money to see you.”
• “When Chuck Norris goes to the library, he doesn’t read books — he rewrites history.”
• “Unattended children will be given an energy drink and taught to swear.”
• “I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo. The sign said “bread in captivity”.
• “I got confused when i saw a guy at the ATM standing on one leg. He was probably checking his balance.”

3. His name is Art Schallock, and he is known best for two things:

1. He is the oldest living former MLB player, having turned 100 in late April.

2. Schallock is the player who replaced Mickey Mantle on the Yankeed roster in 1951, when New York sent The Mick back to the minors when he was 19 years old.

While Schallock is little more than footnote in baseball history, having posted a 6-7 record with a 4.02 ERA in 58 games (14 starts) with the Yankees and Orioles from 1951-53, there is actually another interesting note tied to his MLB dossier.

Schallock appeared in one World Series, that coming in 1953 when he pitched in one game, working two innings. One of the batters he faced? A guy named Jackie Robinson.

Steve Thought O’ The Day – I just read out that 53 percent of people have a fear of clowns, called colorphobia. The other 47 percent have a fear of the clown-like Chicago White Sox.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He’s excited about the Little Woman dressing like Princess Leia tonight.