DAILY DIRT: Maybe there’s a method to the madness that we call marriage

“I would say once a week I catch my wife looking at me like, ‘I’m going to have to let you go.’” Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 825 of The Daily Dirt.

1. What’s the secret to a long and successful marriage?

Personally, I have absolutely no idea. So I put together three medal-worthy observations and a couple of honorable mentions from some people who might:

Gold medal: “I used to say the secret of marriage was having separate bedrooms. But now I think it’s having separate countries.” — Eric Idle.

Silver medal: “The divorce rate is sky high, so everybody is just lying their asses off. Why don’t we come clean? Let’s be honest. Instead of standing there saying until death do you part, let’s just go: “Oh, I’ll give it a shot.” — Wanda Sykes.

Bronze medal: “Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic — you need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner.” — Jerry Seinfeld.

Honorable mention: “I’m happily married, but I would say once a week, I catch my wife looking at me like, ‘I’m going to have to let you go.’” — Jim Gaffigan.

Honorable mention: Women get in more bad relationships than men. Why? Because men see red flags and they bolt. Women see red flags and they say, ‘I can fix that.'” — Gina Brillon.

2. Yesterday we were having some fun with what made the decade of the 1980s so special and the impact it had on our culture.

Here are some more items that made that 10-year period such a great time to be alive:

Best movies of the 1980s: There can be argument that this decade was truly one of cinema’s golden periods. My personal favorite was probably the Eddie Murphy classic “Beverly Hills Cop,” but that’s only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Do you remember “Top Gun,” the “Indiana Jones” films, “Ghostbusters,” “Crocodile Dundee” … yep, this was one sweet decade.

Best fashion statements of the 1980s: The decade was all about big shoulder pads, leg warmers, neon colors and oversized t-shirts carrying bold and inspirational messages like “Choose Life” (remember the Wham! video?) and “Dream Big”. It was also the decade of acid-wash jeans and scrunchies.

Best hairstyles of the 1980s: They didn’t call it the “Big ’80s” for nothing. Big hair was all the rage and almost everyone’s motto seemed to be, “The higher the better”.  The big, messy Madonna-style hair with the glorious stand-up fringe was all the rage, and we all the better for it.

The best for-rent entertainment of the 1980s: The ’80s also gave us video rental stores where we would spend ages trying to decide what movie to pick for that special movie night. The giddy anticipation of finding the much-awaited new release added a real sense of excitement to the movie-watching experience. Oh how I miss those video stores …

Yes, the 1980s were a great time. We didn’t have laptops or the internet, but the girls had big hair and there was a Michael Jackson hit song on the radio about every five minutes.

3. A few more items about the beloved ’80s before we close the book.

Maybe you remember some — or all — of the following:

• The average price of a new car was $7,000.
• The average price of a movie ticket was $2.70.
• A gallon of gas was $1.19.
• Candy bars were 25 cents.
• The average price of a new home was $75,800.
• A postage stamp was 15 cents.

Those were the days, my friend. We thought they’d never end.

Steve Thought O’ The Day – While it’s great to be nostalgic about the 1980s, let’s remember it was far from a perfect decade. One of the hit TV shows was a comedy called “ALF,” about an alien life form (hence, the initials ALF). If you remember, ALF ate cats. He. Ate. Cats.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He shows up every day, unlike tOSU.