DAILY DIRT: ‘My wife thought our kids were spoiled, but I think most kids smell like that’

Daily Dirt for Tuesday, March 5, 2024

“And the sign said, ‘Long-haired freaky people need not apply’. So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why.” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 885 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Remember the Five-Man Electrical Band?

If not, it was an early 1970s Canadian rock group that had one major hit: “Signs.”

If the band or song title escape you, maybe the following lyrics will ring a bell:

Sign, sign
Everywhere a sign
Blockin’ out the scenery
Breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that
Can’t you read the sign?

Well, often those signs that “block the scenery” can be rather hilarious. The following 10 signs are real, posted by people and/or companies that appreciated a sense of humor:

• “It’s better to be happy in sweat pants than be sad in jeans.”
• “My housekeeping style can best be described as ‘there appears to have been a struggle’.”
• “My wife thought our kids were spoiled, but I think most kids smell like that.”
• “Respect your parents. They passed high school without Google.”
• “Shoutout to anyone who got through today with a nap. Pulling an all-dayer is tough.”
• “Who is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?”
• “Bad decisions make great stories.”
• “My favorite winter activity is going back inside where it is warm.”
• “When is ‘old enough to know better’ supposed to kick in?”
• “I used to be a crastinator, but then I decided to go pro.”

For the record, my wife said that last one should be the title of my life story. My wife is such a card … she should be dealt with.

2. One of the most overlooked years in pop music may have been 1971.

Disco had not yet arrived (thank goodness) and the sounds were still influenced by the late 1960s. Here’s my personal top 10 from that year. I think anyone of the boomer persuasion will smile more than once when perusing the following top 10:

• 1. “Maggie May/Reason To Believe,” by Rod Stewart: This two-sided hit shot Rod the Mod to the top of the charts, where he has remained for 53 years.
• 2. “Joy To the World,” by Three Dog Night: This was No. 1 for six weeks and sold 5 million copies.
• 3. “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart,” by the Bee Gees: Remember the Bee Gees’ sound before they sold their soul to disco?
• 4. “Tired Of Being Alone,” by Al Green: I bought a lot of Al Green records in the ’70s. This was the first.
• 5. “Me And Bobby McGee,” by Janis Joplin: If she had lived long enough, I think Joplin and Rod Stewart could have been quite a duet.
• 6. “Brown Sugar,” by the Rolling Stones: This is the song that ultimately knocked “Joy To The World” out of No. 1.
• 7. “Want Ads,” by Honey Cone: Few people know Honey Cone lead singer Edna Wright was the sister of Darlene Love.
• 8. “I’ve Found Someone Of My Own,” by Free Movement: And as great as this song was, Free Movement was never from again.
• 9. “Superstar,” by the Carpenters: The best of many hits from this brother-sister act.
• 10. “If You Could Read My Mind,” by Gordon Lightfoot: This song brought the sound of Mr. Lightfoot to the masses.

3. Here’s this week’s tip o’ the hat to celebrities having birthdays:

• Former Monkees drummer Micky Dolenz will be 79 on Friday. Dolenz sang lead on “I’m A Believer,” arguably the finest effort from those late ’60s mop tops. Dolenz is also the last surviving member of the Monkees.
• NBC news anchor Lester Holt — a.k.a. The Man — turns 65, also on Friday. The next time Lester smiles during a newscast will be the first time.
• Actor Chuck Norris — a.k.a. The Man II — will be 84 on Sunday. Chuck Norris never sleeps. He waits.
• Actress Sharon Stone turns 66, also on Sunday. Anyone in the room not seen “Basic Instinct?”
• Singer Carrie Underwood will blow out 41 candles during another Sunday celebration. For those wondering, Underwood won her “American Idol” title in 2005. (Wow, it still seems like just yesterday.)

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Just my opinion, of course, but I feel Lester Holt is the finest network news anchor since Walter Cronkite.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. What did he do during the great Facebook Crash of 2024?