DAILY DIRT: Next time you look in the mirror, go ahead and try it

Daily Dirt for Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024

And that 36-murderer thing is rather bothersome … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 849 of The Daily Dirt.

1. You can file the following under the strange-but-true items we like to share on The Daily Dirt.

In no particular order:

• 1. The only part of your reflection that you can lick is your tongue. (Don’t feel bad, I tried it, too.)
• 2. The FDA allows for small amounts of rat droppings in candy bars. (I hope that doesn’t include Kit Kats.)
• 3. The average person walks past 36 murderers in his/her lifetime. (How do they really know that? I would say that if you lived in the middle of of New York City that’s probably not a reach, but if I lived on a farm in the middle of Northeast Missouri my entire life that might be kind of a stretch.)
• 4. On the average cellphone, there are 10 times the number of bacteria found in the average public restroom. (Well … that’s rather discouraging.)
• 5. Russia has a larger surface area than the planet Pluto. (I don’t really care. I’m not planning to ever visit either.)
• 6. Cannibalism is common among hamsters. (So … that’s what happened to my grandson’s other hamster.)
• 7. Some lions mate more than 50 times a day. (Whoaaaa!!)
• 8. The average person walks the equivalent of five times around the Earth during his/her lifetime. (Hmm … I know one that won’t reach that total.)
• 9. Florida is larger than England. (But the English have better accents.)
• 10. The picture for your funeral may have already been taken. (Yeah, that thought kind of ruined my day, too.)

2. Here’s a suggestion, because after all, I am here to help.

If you have never checked out the YouTube video of a young Blake Shelton teaming with Miranda Lambert to sing “You’re the Reason God Made Oklahoma,” please do so. I love the part when Lambert  sings, “Santa Mon-n-n-nica freeway, can sure make a country girl blu-u-u-u-e … “

3. This week’s Daily Dirt birthday cakes go to:

— Comedienne and former talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres is 66 today.

— Hockey great Wayne Gretzky is celebrating No. 63, also today.

— Actor Alan Alda, best known for portraying Hawking Pierce on “M*A*S*H, ” turns 88 on Sunday.

— Actor Tom Selleck, the former star of “Magnum P.I.” and current star of “Blue Bloods,” will be 79 on Monday.

— Talk-show host and business entrepreneur Oprah Winfrey will be 70, also on Monday.

Steve Thought O’ the Day It’s kind of hard to believe, but Oprah’s TV show dates to September 1986.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Yes, he and Oprah are the same age.