Daily Dirt: On Mike, on Toby, on Louie, on Nigel, on Elvis (and the Deer-ly Beloved)

rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer-characters

Would if Santa's reindeer have different names if the song were written today?

Daily Dirt for Dec. 24, 2021

Never trust a reindeer named Louie. Jus’ sayin’. Welcome to today’s three thoughts in Vol. 167 of the Daily Dirt.

1. We all know about “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” not to mention Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and all those other famous reindeer names. What if that song had been written today? Would the reindeer have different names? I think they would, and here are a few suggestions.

  • Mike: He would be the hardest-working of the reindeer. Iron Mike, they would likely call him. He’d run point on all the long-distance hauls.
  • Toby: Ol’ Toby would be a guitar-playing reindeer, leading the rest of the group in sing-a-longs.
  • Louie: He would undoubtedly be a troublemaker.
  • Manny: Manny would be the real athlete of the bunch, and likely the only baseball-playing reindeer of the group. Likely a shortstop.
  • Hogan: Obviously, he would be the biggest of the reindeer. A Hulk-ing figure.
  • Nigel: The scholarly reindeer.
  • Flynn: Among the reindeer, Flynn would have been the ultimate ladies man … err, deer.
  • Vinny: Yep, Vinny the Venison. Goodtime Vinny would be loved by all.
  • Stu: The card-playing reindeer who will win all his buddies’ earnings.
  • Slick: No one would trust Slick. He’d probably be the only toupee-wearing reindeer.
  • Elvis: Likely Toby’s best friend. Toby would play the guitar, and Elvis would be lead singer of the reindeer band “Deer-ly Beloved.” 
  • Steve: He’d be the lone reindeer from Ohio.
Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life”

2. Here are my five favorite individual characters from Christmas-themed movies:

  • 1. George Bailey, “It’s a Wonderful Life”: Jimmy Stewart, who portrayed Bailey, is the Michael Jordan of Christmas movie characters.
  • 2. Clark Griswold, “Christmas Vacation”: I guess that would make Chevy Chase, who made the Clark Griswold character famous, the LeBron James of holiday films.
  • 3. Cousin Eddie, “Christmas Vacation”: Not sure what that would make Randy Quaid and his Cousin Eddie role, other than hilarious.
  • 4. Ralphie, “A Christmas Story”: Peter Billinglsey, who made the Ralphie character synonymous with this Christmas movie watching, is now 50 years old. The movie was released in 1983.
  • 5. Willie Stokes, “Bad Santa”: Billy Bob Thornton’s role as a small-time criminal who moonlights as a mall Santa is not, shall we say, for everyone. But if you can overlook a few things, the movie is both funny and heartwarming. 

3. Five famous (or at least semi-famous) athletes who had the surname of Christmas:

  • Demarcus Christmas, pro football player: He’s a defensive lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
  • Ruth Christmas, a British middle-distance runner who retired in 2001.
  • Steve Christmas, a former MLB player. He had six hits in the big leagues in the 1980s.
  • Cecil Christmas, former English soccer player: Fans of Southampton will likely lift a toast to ol’ Cecil, who retired in 1916.
  • Johnny Christmas, professional lacrosse player. He gained fame for the Philadelphia Wings, or so I am told.

Wanna bet Steve didn’t wrap any of the gifts given away at the Eighinger family Christmas?

Miss Clipping Out Stories to Save for Later?

Click the Purchase Story button below to order a print of this story. We will print it for you on matte photo paper to keep forever.

Current Weather

THU
60°
41°
FRI
60°
44°
SAT
56°
37°
SUN
59°
39°
MON
67°
51°

Trending Stories