Daily Dirt: Pass the kiviak, please … and may I have a side of mopane worms?

If sucking the juices out of a dead, fermenting bird kind of disgusts you, it might be a good idea to skip the first of today’s three thoughts. … welcome to Vol. 140 of the Daily Dirt.

1. It’s Saturday, and there are Thanksgiving leftovers all over the house, right? Well, things could be worse. You could be eating the following in various parts of the world at this time of the year. These are actual holiday dishes, I kid you not:

• Kiviak: In some Arctic lands, a freshly disemboweled seal is stuffed with up to 500 small birds. It is then shut and sealed with seal fat to prevent flies from getting in. The birds are buried and left to ferment in the carcass for 3 to 18 months. Kiviak is then eaten by biting off the bird’s head and then sucking out the juices inside. The birds can also be eaten whole, bones and all. This delicacy is especially popular during Arctic Christmas celebrations. Yum.
• Mopane worms: One of the holiday foods of choice in southern Africa is mopane worms, the caterpillar of the Emperor Moth. The ideal harvesting season for these protein-rich maggots is around this time of year. The yellow flesh has been described as tasting just like salty potato chips, or a mix of leaves, earth and salt. 
• Christmas carp: In Slovakia, Poland and Czechia, living carp are bought before Christmas and kept in the bathtub for several days prior to being eaten. It’s a symbol of good luck and a traditional meat-free meal in central Europe. And in case you may have forgotten, carp have those tasty mud veins. Double yum.

2. I found these three anonymous ideas that I feel are are perfect for the advent of holiday shopping:

• “Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men and Batteries Not Included”. (Raise your hand if you ever bought a present for a child and never saw those words on the box — until Christmas morning.)
• “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” (Truer words were never spoke, part I.)
• “Men can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes on Christmas Eve.” (Truer words were never spoken, part II.)

3. The perfect Christmas gift this year might be the new “World’s Greatest Mullets” calendar for 2022. It’s only $21 and available now on Amazon. Seriously, this really exists.

Steve Fact O’ The Day: Steve does not have a mud vein, at least to his knowledge.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. MRN will pay cash for a picture of Steve with a mullet.