DAILY DIRT: Patrick Swayze kicks some butt, watch out for the Sharknado and was ‘Plan 9″ a prequel to ‘The Walking Dead?’

best-of-roadhouse

The late Patrick Swayze and the eternal Sam Elliott in "Road House" 1989 - United Artists

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, Oct. 12, 2022

The most shocking part of “Road House” might be seeing Sam Elliott with dark hair … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 421 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Call it a guilty pleasure, but I often enjoy a bad movie (I mean a BAD movie) as much as an Academy Award winner.

Today I’ve selected three wretched films that are so bad they are good — at least from an entertainment perspective.

The three movies I have chosen are all for different reasons. If you have missed any of them, please try and round them up in the coming weeks. I promise you will not regret it.

Gold medal: “Road House” (1989). How can a flick go wrong with Patrick Swayze, Sam Elliott and one of the great songs of the 1980s as an integral feature of the film?

“‘Road House’ is the kind of movie that leaves reality so far behind that you have to accept it on its own terms,” acclaimed critic Roger Ebert once wrote.

Good point.

But it most certainly did, but in a rather hysterical, totally entertaining fashion.

Swayze is regarded as one of the best bouncers in the business, and is hired by a tavern owner to weed out the “bad guys,” not only in the bar but the entire town. Elliott eventually shows up to help his buddy Swayze, and as you might guess there are plenty of great fisticuffs during the film.

“This is not a good movie,” Ebert said. “But viewed in the right frame of mind, it is not a boring one, either.”

Another good point.

For the record, “Road House” was released after “Dirty Dancing” and before “Ghost” at the height of Swayze’s career. 

Oh, about the aforementioned song. During the film, you get to see the Jeff Healey Band perform “Angel Eyes.” The song reached as high as No. 5 in 1989 on the Billboard Hot 100 (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: For some reason, “Angel Eyes” was NOT on the Road House soundtrack, although the Publisher and his wife danced to “Angel Eyes” on their wedding night, July 4, 1992 JRG).

Girl, you’re looking fine tonight
And every guy has got you in his sight
What you’re doing with a clown like me
Is surely one of life’s little mysteries
.”

2. “Sharknado 2013”: First of all, this movie was SUPPOSED to be bad, and it was. Creators laughed all the way to the bank, however, since it has spawned five sequels and three spinoffs — making $4.5 billion. That’s billion, with a “B.”

If for some reason you have never heard of the Sharknado craze, all you need to know is that the principal storyline revolved around a tornado that tosses great white sharks into the middle of a major megalopolis. Just see the movie(s). It’s an experience you’ll never regret — or forget.

3. “Plan 9 From Outer Space” (1959): Some publications call this the worst movie of all-time. The film was produced, written, directed and edited by Ed Wood, who was not terribly talented at either of those items.Aliens try to resurrect corpses to conquer the world. (Hmm… I wonder if “The Walking Dead” powers-to-be got their idea from this movie?) Production equipment can be seen in certain scenes, there are hokey-looking flying saucers and, of course, what is arguably the most ridiculous script ever voiced in cinematic history. 

By the way, the original name was “Grave Robbers From Outer Space.” The film is one hour, 19 minutes of unbelievably bad acting and equally inept special effects.

2. Our look at college football this week:

Favorites for the national championship

1. Ohio State (6-0): Buckeyes have scored 45 or more points in five straight games. They are idle this week before a stretch run that includes games against Iowa, Penn State, Northwestern, Indiana, Maryland and Michigan. 

2. Georgia (6-0): No real comment here, just a note that’s kind of interesting: Georgia coach Kirby Smart is 46, Ohio State coach Ryan Day is 43 and Alabama coach Nick Saban is 70.

3. Alabama (6-0): Do you sense an uneasy feeling these days in Tuscaloosa? (And no, that’s not a follow-up to the above note related to Saban’s age.)

The best of the rest

Still hopeful for the medal stand: Clemson (6-0), Michigan (6-0).

The next level: Tennessee (6-0), USC (6-0), Oklahoma State (6-0), Ole Miss (6-0).

Don’t forget these guys: Illinois (5-1) is ranked (No. 24) for the first time since 2011. Bret Bielema has to be one of the early favorites for coach of the year honors.

Worst major program in the nation

Colorado is 0-5 and giving up 43.2 points a game. The not-so-mighty Buffs are the only winless Division I program in the country and have yet to play USC, Oregon, Utah and Washington.

3. My new favorite TV commercial is the one from Applebee’s that plays AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” in the background.

It’s a 30-second spot for $1 boneless with any main burger entrée. It’s the latest ad from the restaurant chain that incorporates some classic songs. All I can say is:

“Now I’m back in the ringTo take another swing…The walls were shakingThe Earth was quaking”

This video and song…good. Applebee’s? Not so much.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — For those who might have been wondering, Patrick Swayze’s love interest in “Road House” was Kelly Lynch.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Road House is based in Missouri, so that makes it awesome.

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