DAILY DIRT: People have started telling me “that I look great” … followed by a slight pause, and then … “for my age”

I truly am the same age as old people. When did that happen? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 534 of The Daily Dirt.

1. As each year passes — heck, as each DAY passes — there are more and more signs in my life that I am getting old(er). See if any of these apply to you:

• Surprisingly, I am now the same age as old people.
• You find yourself calling your kids for all problems dealing with computers, cellphones and other kinds of tech support. 
• People have started telling me “that I look great” … followed by a slight pause, and then … “for my age.”
• Your children, by the way, are beginning to look middle-aged.
• You wake up with that “morning after” feeling when there was no “night before.”
• Every time you pass a bathroom you think to yourself, “I might as well go since I’m here.”
• “Happy hour” is what you call nap time.
• You turn lights off for economic reasons, rather than romantic reasons.
• You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
• You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
• Your brain has gone from “you probably shouldn’t say that” to “what the hell, let’s see what happens.”

2. The Great License Plate Debate Update for West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri has a new member on the medal stand.

Gold medal: BATLADY. Four weeks in a row at No. 1.

Silver medal: STARVED. If not for BATLADY, this would be an automatic gold medal.

Bronze medal: VRROOM. Welcome to our newest medal winner, spotted in the parking lot at Blessing Hospital.

Honorable mention: 1 TRUCKN, FANFAM 5, HARLEEY, TRUBLN 2, TUFFJ 98, KOKO, SMLFRY.

3. I was reading some Facebook posts from people regarding whether or not they felt Pete Rose belonged in the Hall of Fame.

“I don’t give a hollering crap if you like the guy or not. Fact is he belongs in the Hall of Fame,” wrote one fan. To which I replied, “What is the difference between a hollering crap and a basic crap?” To which the gentleman responded, “Well, a hollering crap is a little less stressful than a basic crap.” And now I know.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Not long ago, I called my son for computer assistance at 2 a.m., which was 3 a.m. his time (he lives in Ohio). Fortunately, he was still up.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Like father, like son.