Daily Dirt: Prepare for the scare

Get some popcorn. Turn the lights down low and grab your significant other. It’s scary-movie time as we approach Halloween. Welcome to today’s three thoughts, compliments of Vol. 110 of the Daily Dirt.

1. Halloween is meant for two things: 1. Eating candy, probably lots of it. 2. Watching scary movies.I’ll let you work on the first item, but allow me to suggest five flicks guaranteed to scare the Snickers right out of you.

My only ground rule is the movies cannot have any zombies in them. We’re going old school today, no post apocalyptic horror stuff. Here’s my five picks guaranteed to cause nightmares, minus the flesh-eating zombies:

1. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974): Disturbing? Yes. Memorable? Ditto. Just don’t watch it alone … or in the dark. The bright side? Did I mention there’s humor, too?

2. “The Blair Witch Project” (1999): This is low-budget filmmaking at its finest — and scariest. For the record, I’ve never gone into the woods again since seeing this movie.

3. “An American Werewolf in London” (1981): This film may not have invented comedy horror, but it certainly mastered the process. Before watching it, I recommend listening to Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London.”

4. “Saw” (2004): I would have ranked this even higher, but I feel the overall “Saw” franchise needs to be watched to be fully appreciated. “Saw” is a commitment when it comes to viewing. You must watch all seven of the original films, or none at all. And you must have a strong stomach.

5. “Island of Lost Souls” (1932): Two words: Genetic. Experiments. This is arguably one of the two scariest black-and-white movie ever. “Blair Witch Project” is the other.

2. Since 2000, what college football programs have had the most NFL draft picks? Here are the elite:

Gold medal: Ohio State, 141 (31 first-rounders)

Silver medal: Alabama, 127 (31)

Bronze medal: LSU, 126 (30)

Honorable mention: Miami: 119 (30)

For those wondering:No. 47: Missouri, 43 (9). No. 48: Illinois, 39 (5).

3. Technically, this kind of advice would come from Stevie Love and his advice on affairs of the heart, so just consider the following a bonus:

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” — Phyllis Diller.

Steve Fact O’ The Day
Steve admits to be scared to death the first time he watched each the five aforementioned movies. “I have never owned a chainsaw since seeing No. 1,” he said.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. It would be a surprise if Steve owned any power tools.