Daily Dirt: Rod the Mod, Donna, Lester, Morgan and my old Strat-O-Matic hero might complete life’s circle

Daily Dirt for Aug. 13, 2021
By Steve Eighinger Muddy River News Minister of Culture

Whenever I’m feeling down, I simply hit “play” on the nearest copy of “Maggie May” — or any other Rod Stewart classic — and life is immediately better. Find out why in Vol. 36 of the Daily Dirt:

1. Here are five people I would like to meet:

A. Rod Stewart: 2021 marks the 50th consecutive year he has been my favorite singer. And yes, I have seen him in concert four times, but actually getting to meet him and have a conversation with Rod the Mod would pretty much complete my life. Well, that and an Indians World Series title.

B. Donna Mills: The former “Knots Landing” star is my all-time favorite TV actress. In fact, there is no one even worthy of a No. 2 position.

C. Lester Holt: The NBC news anchor is the best at his trade, and in so many ways a welcome throwback to the days when newsmen reported the news instead of trying to influence it.

D. Morgan Freeman: Just to hear that magnificent voice in person would be inspiring. The veteran actor could simply read the phone book and I would be spellbound.

E. Frank Tanana: The left-handed pitcher was my favorite baseball player in the mid-1970s, largely because his Strat-O-Matic baseball game cards made him almost unhittable.

2. Have you seed the advertisements for those new peanut butter-and-pickle Twinkies? If you just shuddered, you’re not alone.

3. ESPN has named what it feels are the top five traditions in college football. Well, the worldwide leader in sports certainly got No. 1 correct:

A. Ohio State: Dotting the “i” during the pregame script O-h-i-o performance by the Ohio State band.

B. Clemson: Howard’s Rock. The Clemson players all touch Howard’s Rock running on to the field. Yawn…

C. Army-Navy: The service academies’ traditional cadet march. Certainly better tan the Howard’s Rock thing.

D. Colorado: Ralphie’s Run. Not bad, because who doesn’t love to see a real, live buffalo running around a football stadium?

E. Iowa: The Kinnick Wave. Always fun to watch, plus heartwarming when the fans wave to the children in the university hospital that sits right beside the stadium. This should probably be No. 2.

Steve Eighinger is the self-proclaimed Minister of Culture for Muddy River News. It is a ceremonial title, but we do buy him lunch from time-to-time.