Daily Dirt: ‘She chewed her toenails during a church service’

Daily Dirt for Jan. 15, 2022

This is a big day for remembering first dates and Mel Gibson movies. Let’s rock. … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 184 of the Daily Dirt.

1. The question was, “What’s the most petty reason you didn’t go on a second date with someone?” The following are some of the responses from a online site. Be prepared to laugh, and I’m certain some (but hopefully not too many) reasons will also sound familiar. Wake up the echoes:

• “His kisses were like wet bread.”
• “His mom dropped him off for the date.”
• “He smelled like mothballs.”
• “She didn’t shave her underarms.”
• “He had fleas.”
• “He had coupons.”
• “He clipped his toenails while we were sitting on the couch.”
• “After buttering his baked potato, he licked every finger. And he scratched a lot.”
• “He told me he worked in a dildo factory.”
• “He used a straw and my dad always said, ‘Real men don’t use straws’.”
• “He told me we couldn’t go out again because he was getting married in the morning.”
• “He blew his nose at the table while we were eating.”
• “He smelled.”
• “He pronounced San Jose as San Joe’s.”
• “Body odor.”
• “He was smaller than me. I am 5-foot-2.”
• “Great guy … cute, too., But he snorted every time he laughed.”
• “He licked the barbecue sauce off the table.”
• “His wife called me the next morning.”
• “He talked too much. Endless, boring chatter. I went to the ladies room and out the side door.”
• “The first date we went to a steak house and he bitched because I didn’t eat everything on my plate.”
• “Took his shoes off at my parents’ house and his feet stunk so bad.”
• “He went to kiss me goodnight and he dribbled on my cheek.”
• “She chewed her toenails during a church service.”
• “She drank too much and vomited, then tried to kiss me with puke breath.”

2. Today’s favorite names from the world of sports:

• Gold medal: Tokyo Sexwale, who sought the presidency of FIFA six years ago.
• Silver medal: Gaylord Silly, French-Seychellois long-distance runner.
• Bronze medal: Destinee Hooker, U.S. indoor volleyball player. 

3. My five favorite movies starring Mel Gibson:

— “Mad Max (the series)“: The post-apocalyptic film series helped vault Gibson to superstardom. Gibson starred in the first three movies, with Tom Hardy taking over in the fourth. Little known fact: Max’s last name was Rockatansky. (You’re welcome!)

— “Lethal Weapon (the series)“: I’m not sure what is better in the “Lethal Weapon” films: the action, the one-liners or camaraderie between Gibson and Danny Glover. 

— “Braveheart”: The story of 13th-century Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace. Read the actual account of how Wallace met his ultimate fate and you’ll understand why it is not shown in its entirety in the film.

— “The Patriot”: Not necessarily a factual Revolutionary War account, but highly entertaining and action-packed.

— “Gallipoli”: This was one of his early works (1981), but helped set the stage for future stardom. The film revolves around several young men from western Australia who enlist in the Australian Army during World War I.

Steve Fact O’ The Day
Steve believes “Third Rock from the Sun” is one of the most underrated sitcoms of all time.

“We went to a steak house and he bitched because I didn’t eat everything on my plate.” Sounds like a first date with Steve, doesn’t it?