DAILY DIRT: Some classic lines that should bring a smile

Daily Dirt for Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2022

I wonder whatever prompted Renee Zellweger to have all of that plastic surgery? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 434 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Today we continue with the best movie lines ever.

Our focus this time around is on the top responses in comedy films. I’m sure at least some of the following will ring a bell and bring a smile:

Gold medal: “You had me at ‘hello.'” — Renée Zellweger as Dorothy Boyd in “Jerry Maguire” (1996)

Sliver medal: “As if!” — Alicia Silverstone as Cher Horowitz in “Clueless” (1995).

Bronze medal: “This one time, at band camp … ” — Alyson Hannigan as Michelle in “American Pie” (1999).

Honorable mentions

• “My mama always said, life was like a box a chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in “Forrest Gump” (1994).
• “I’ll have what she’s having.” — Estelle Reiner as female customer in “When Harry Met Sally … ” (1989). 
• “I am serious … and don’t call me Shirley.” — Leslie Nielsen as Dr. Rumack in “Airplane” (1980).
• “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” — Mae West as Lady Lou in “She Done Him Wrong” (1933).
• “There’s no crying in baseball!” —Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in “A League of Their Own” (1992).

2. Things really don’t get interesting in college football until November, and we’re almost there.

In the meantime, here are this week’s Daily Dirt college football rankings:

1. Ohio State (7-0): I’m beginning to sense an Ohio State vs. Tennessee national championship game. This week: Ohio State 43, Penn State 10. Buckeyes will want to make a statement, and if things deteriorate early for Penn State the scoreboard on OSU’s side might hit 60. Ohio State, however, always seems to have trouble playing at State College, Pa.

2. Georgia (7-0): This will not be a defensive tug o’ war. This week: Georgia 34, Florida 28. This may be a legitimate struggle for the Bulldogs, who will enter as more than a 20-point favorite.

3. Tennessee (7-0): The Vols could have an opportunity to move up to No. 2 with an impressive win over Kentucky. This week: Tennessee 38, Kentucky 35. This could be another SEC classic.

4. Michigan (7-0): Wolverines are rolling, and a disappointing Michigan State team will not be a challenge. This week: Michigan 49, Michigan State 17. If at all possible, Michigan will try and humiliate its in-state rival.

5. Alabama (7-1): The Tide has the week off before meeting LSU on Nov. 5.

Longshot contenders: TCU (7-0), Oregon (6-1), USC (6-1). Oregon has rebounded nicely from that week one thrashing at Georgia.

Pretenders: Clemson (8-0), Oklahoma State (6-1), Wake Forest (6-1), UCLA (6-1), Penn State (6-1).

3. Here are a few more crazy names for towns around the world that readers have sent in:

• Nothing, Ariz.
• Forks of Salmon, Calif.
• Blue Ball, Del.
• Fluffy Landing, Fla.
• Young America, Ind.
• Hell for Certain, Ky.
• Funk, Neb.
• Flasher, N.D.
• Knockemstiff, Ohio
• Difficult, Tenn.
• Pinch, W. Va.
• Disco, Wis.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He hasn’t had plastic surgery.