DAILY DIRT: Sometimes, the advice coming from your TV set is quite remarkable


Ron Swanson is our greatest living philosopher.

Daily Dirt for Sunday, May 26, 2024

I think I’m going to have that “advice” from Ron Swanson framed and hang on a wall in the mancave … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 960 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Sometimes the best advice for real life can come from fictitious characters.

I often find some of the finest words to live by are provided by my what I hear on TV. With that in mind, here are three medal-worthy thoughts on how to approach life, compliments of  Ron Swanson, Sheldon Cooper and Cameron Tucker.

Gold medal: “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” — Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman), “Parks and Recreation”.

Silver medal: “The need to find another human being to share one’s life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I’m so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own.” — Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), “Big Bang Theory”.

Bronze medal: “I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you not to like me.” — Cameron Tucker (Eric Stonestreet), “Modern Family”.

2. Did you know (Part 23) …

That in Japan it takes up to 20 years of study to become a sushi chef. In the United States, it takes 10 to 12 years to become a doctor. Hmmmm …

That the role of Han Solo in “Star Wars” was originally offered to Al Pacino. When he rejected, it was then offered to Harrison Ford. The rest, as they say, is history. (For the record, Pacino said the script was “too confusing”.)

That Chicago has produced the most NFL players with 494. (If you’re a devoted reader of The Daily Dirt, you probably remember seeing that Chicago has also produced the most NBA players.)

That the top three pop songs in May 1981 were:

  • 1. “Bette David Eyes,” by Bette Midler
  • 2. “You Better You Bet,” by The Who
  • 3. “Morning Train,” by Sheena Easton.
PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Anytime we have the opportunity to show Sheena Easton, we will do so. JRG

That pro wrestlers Jeff Hardy and Mick Foley have pledged to donate their brains (after they have died, just in case you were wondering) to science for studies on concussions. 

3. We always hear how fast MLB pitchers throw the ball, but … have you ever wondered which players swing the bat the fastest?

If so, here’s the answers you have been looking for:

The top five fastest bats so far this season:

  • 1. Giancarlo Stanton, New York Yankees, 80.6 mph.
  • 2. Oneil Cruz, Pittsburgh, 77.7 mph.
  • 3. Kyle Schwarber, Philadelphia, 77.0 mph.
  • 4. Matt Chapman, San Francisco: 76.9 mph.
  • 5-tie. Ronald Acuna Jr., Atlanta, 76.7 mph.
  • 5-tie. Christopher Morel, Chicago Cubs, 76.7 mph

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Only one song in the long history of the Billboard pop music charts has been No. 1 on three separate occasions. It occurred in the late 1970s when “Le Freak” by Chic managed to turn that trick. The song that eventually knocked it out of No. 1 for good was Rod Stewart’s “Do You Think I’m Sexy”.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Glad he could fit a gratuitous Rod the Mod mention in there.

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