DAILY DIRT: Stones’ first single was released when JFK was president

I know, I know. You’re still doing the math about that first Rolling Stones record and John F. Kennedy. … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 848 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The editors of AmericanSongwriter.com named their “definitively, inarguably, unassailably top 10 rock bands of all time”.

Their words, not mine. 

My words, however, follow below with the aforementioned rankings:

1. Beatles: Shocker. Not. Best song from this band: “Twist and Shout” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: “Twist and Shout”? C’mon, Steve…My personal favorite is “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”, but “Let it Be”, “Yesterday” or “In My Life” have to be in the conversation as the best. Let’s ask “Rolling Stone”. JRG)

2. Rolling Stones: So just how long have the Stones been around? They released their first single in June 1963. John F. Kennedy was president. Let that sink in. Best song from this band: “Mixed Emotions” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: “Sympathy for the Devil”, “Paint it Black” or “Satisfaction” maybe? Also, let’s just call Mick, Keith and the boys 1A instead of 2. JRG)

3. Led Zeppelin: When I was a sophomore in high school, I presented an in-class report on the music of Led Zeppelin. Classmates loved it, the teacher not so much. Best song from this band: “D’yer Mak’er” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Not a Zeppelin guy. Sorry. JRG)

4. Pink Floyd: I have tried and tried to “like” this group’s music, but it’s just so-o-o boring. Best song from this band: “Another Brick in the Wall” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Agree, although Pike Floyd is waaaay too high on this list. JRG)

5. The Who: Personally, I’d move these guys up to No. 3. Best song from this band: Tie-“Won’t Get Fooled Again” and “Baba O’Riley” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Agree with Steve on moving “The Who” up to No. 3. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Toss “My Generation” in the mix. JRG)

6. Aerosmith: Remember when Steven Tyler appeared on “Two and a Half Men?” Best song from this band: “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Great call here. Honorable mention to “Dream On”. JRG)

7. Fleetwood Mac: I always wished Stevie Nicks and Christine McVie would have broken away and formed their own group. Best song from this band: “Gypsy”. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Dude…it’s “Landslide” and there is no further comment needed. JRG)

8. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: For me, this group was simply a more upbeat version of Pink Floyd. And I always thought Dwight Yoakam was Tom Petty’s long lost twin brother. Best song from this band: “I Won’t Back Down” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: MRN CEO Ellen Duffy-Gough doesn’t allow Tom Petty music played in her car, so I really can’t have an opinion here. JRG)

9. AC/DC: The band’s debut album dates to 1975. For those counting, that’s 49 years ago. Wow. Best song from this band: “You Shook Me All Night Night Long” — the ultimate anthem of the ’80s. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Ranking AC/DC this low is criminal. Should be battling “The Who” for the No. 4 seed. You can take Steve’s pick or “Highway to Hell”, “Hells Bells” and “Thunderstruck” and throw them all in a ring and see who comes out. JRG)

10. Van Halen: Have you seen any recent pictures of David Lee Roth? I know you’ll look, so that’s all I’ll say. Best song from this band: “Jump” (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Okay, I’m a Sammy guy. I’ve seen him in concert more than any performer besides Hank Jr. (C’mon, I’m from Ralls County), so I admit to my bias here. “Eagles Fly” is my favorite Hagar song, but it technically wasn’t a Van Halen song, as it was released by him as a solo track when he was with the band and even though they performed it in concert during the “Van Hagar” decade. “Dreams” and “Right Now” from that era would be the best, although “Eruption” leading into “You Really Got Me” is an amazing combo and probably the best thing the band ever did as it is peak Eddie. JRG)

2. Yes, the following business signs actually exist:

• “Push to open. If that does not work, pull. If neither works, try using the actual entrance to your left.”
• “Do not enter the pool if you are ill with diarrhea.”
• “You need to understand the difference between ‘want’ and need’. I want abs, but I need donuts.”
• “Holy Water Car Wash: Will Wash the Hell out of Your Car.”
• “Due to Covid-19, ‘Sweet Caroline’ is banned. No reaching out, touching hands, touching me, touching you.”
• “Joe’s Radiator: A Great Place to Take a Leak.”
• “Now offering gluten-free tattoos.”
• “Buy Our Donuts or God Will Kill a Kitten.” 
• “We Have Liquor, How ‘Bout You?”
• “Get Your Shift together.” (From a transmission shop)
• “Septic Tanks Pumped. Swimming Pools Filled. Not Same Truck.”
• “Everything We Sell Sucks.” (vacuum repair business)
• “Attention Crack/Meth Heads: Spring is Here. Time to Pawn All Stolen Heaters.” (muffler shop)

3. Three strange, but medal-worthy facts to get you through the day:

Gold medal: Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

Silver medal: Jim Fixx, the man who popularized jogging as a form of exercise in the 1970s, died of a heart attack while jogging in 1984. He was 52.

Bronze medal: If you sneeze while driving a car at 60 mph, your eyes are closed for an average of 50 feet.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — As we move closer to the start of MLB spring training, consider this: The last player to start and finish all 162 regular-season games was Juan Pierre of the 2004 Marlins.