Daily Dirt: ‘Thanks in advance,’ but ‘it is what it is’ because ‘I tell it like it is’

If anyone reading this has ever been to Upperthong in West Yorkshire, England, please feel free to contact me … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 287 of The Daily Dirt.

1. If you’re anything like me, you are probably really tired of hearing certain phrases like…”back to the drawing board” or “think outside the box” or “let’s touch base”.

From this day forward, I’m vowing to never use those expressions again, or any the following phrases, which also make me want to rake my fingernails across the nearest blackboard. (Are there any more blackboards actually left in the world?):

• “Thanks in advance”: I detest seeing that at the end of a note or email. The sender is assuming I will dutifully fulfill his or her request. Maybe I have things to do. Maybe I just don’t want to whatever I’m being asked. Maybe I just don’t care.
• “It is what it is”: Well, if it is, you don’t have to tell me. I can see that … but thanks in advance anyway.
• “Just sayin’ … “: I know that. You just said it. Duh.
• “Money can’t buy happiness”: I’m pretty sure it can.
• “I tell it like it is”: Don’t puff your chest out at me and drop that line. If you actually told it like it was you would have absolutely no friends. (Oh, I’m sorry, you actually don’t have any friends, do you?)
• “Life isn’t fair”: Tell me something I don’t know. If life were fair, the Cleveland Indians/Guardians would have won a Word Series in my lifetime.
• “Stop complaining. There are people who have it tougher than you”: Yes, but I don’t care about THEM. I care about ME.

2. We’ve had some fun lately with names of U.S. towns that bring a chuckle. Today we’re expanding that search around the globe. Here are five strange town names from different countries:

Punkeydoodles Corners, Ontario Canada: This tiny town’s claim to fame is that Canadian Prime Minister Joe Clark visited in 1982.

Sexi, Santa Cruz, Peru: At first glance, it appears to be “Sexy Santa Claus”.

Ugley, Essex, England: Probably a lovely place, but a difficult marketing problem for city officials.

Upperthong, West Yorkshire, England: It’s the sister town of Netherthong. I’m not kidding.

Nowhere Else, Tasmania, Australia: Abut 40 people live there. The name is believed to have originated from a road that led to a place with no name. What?

3. Time for one of our favorite Daily Dirt offerings — Overrated/Underrated:

• Overrated: Jennifer Lopez. She can’t really sing, her acting is atrocious and is barely passable as a dancer. I don’t get it.
• Underrated: Mark Wahlberg. He takes a lot of heat for his reported attitude, but the guy turns out interesting movies most of the time.
• Overrated: Will Ferrell. The only comedian who is more overrated is Adam Sandler, but we have railed on him before. Ferrell at least has one bona fide hit in “Old School” … but nothing else.
• Underrated: Jerry Seinfeld. Sure, he’s a hall of famer, but I don’t think he receives enough credit for the understated style of comedy he helped pioneer. Case in point: Those old repeats of “Seinfeld” are just as funny today as they were years ago. That says a lot.
• Overrated: Amy Schumer. Just an obnoxious and younger version of Lisa Lampanelli. Crude, lewd and … disgusting. But not funny.
• Underrated: Annie Agar. She’s hilarious and doesn’t have to set up shop in the gutter to get laughs.
• Overrated: Johnny Depp. I am so tired of this guy. He had one real run of fame with the success of those “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, but what else is on the resume? (Although the ongoing court case has provided some rather interesting theater.)
• Underrated: Chicago White Sox TV analyst Steve Stone. Oh wait, he’s not a comedian? Well, he should be. The guy is terrific night in, night out.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve wonders why Sonic is able to offer a breakfast menu all day and evening and no other fast-food chain has breakfast past 10:30? 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He generally eats breakfast at noon, lunch at 5 and dinner at 9.