DAILY DIRT: The key words were ‘severe damage to the groin area’

Before we get to the “severe damage” thing, please enjoy our tribute to another manic Monday (yes, apologies to the Bangles) … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 495 of The Daily Dirt.

1. I think we’d all agree Monday always has the “feel” of being the worst day of the week. But why, exactly?

Here are three reasons to ponder:

1. The next weekend just seems so-o-o-o far away.
2. Through the years, songs have immortalized the darkness of the day, such as these classics:

“Rainy Days and Mondays”: One of the hits that made the Carpenters one of the most popular groups in the early 1970s. “Nothin’ to do but frown,Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”

“Monday, Monday”: The signature hit of the Mamas and Papas forecast “Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day,Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way,Oh Monday mornin’ you gave me no warnin’ of what was to be.”

“Manic Monday”: The Bangles’ 1980s masterpiece was actually written by Prince and includes “It’s just another manic Monday, I wish it was Sunday, ‘Cause that’s my fun day, My I don’t have to run day.”

“Blue Monday”: One of the memorable offerings from the legendary Fats Domino, who told us, “Blue Monday, how I hate Blue Monday, Got to work like a slave all day.”

3. Years ago, the Los Angeles Times reported there is a 33 percent greater chance of having a heart attack on Monday. Monday morning, to be exact. The Times’ article also noted that most researchers attributed such a spike in Monday morning mortality to the stress associated with going back to work. 

Not surprisingly, the lowest heart attack rates occur on the weekends, according to the same report. 

Considering all this, I’d say Tuesday can’t get here fast enough.

2. On Sunday, the Little Woman and grandson Grady joined me to watch a little of the Professional Bull Riding Association (PBR). 

First of all, those guys are absolutely crazy. They have to be to get on top of those 1,500-pound Brahma bulls. 

Secondly, with names like War Cry, Prayer Warrior and Blood Money, that should provide a clue of the incredible power those animals possess and their ability to break human bones.

Thirdly, if there would have ever been the slightest of chances that I might one day consider trying to ride one of those Brahmas, that idea was forever erased when I saw one of the riders thrown, kicked and stomped on.

The ensuing medical report began with the rider in question having suffered “severe damage to the groin area.”

About that time, I also figured it was also a good idea to change the channel to something a little less violent — like football.

3. Speaking of football, the NFL postseason is almost upon us. Here are my picks for the Super Wild Card round:

Saturday

San Francisco 31, Seattle 20 (3:30 p.m., Fox): Ever get the feeling this season’s team of destiny has “SF” emblazoned on the side of its helmets?

Jacksonville 28, Los Angeles Chargers 24 (7:15 p.m., NBC): Jacksonville coach Doug Pederson should get some serious consideration for coach of the year.

Sunday

Buffalo 34, Miami 17 (Noon, CBS): If it’s snowing in Buffalo, make that 34-0.

Minnesota 28, New York Giants 14 (3:30 p.m., Fox): This may be the real yawner of the first first-round games. Even when they’re relevant, which is about once every 10 years, the Giants are incredibly boring. Hopefully, though, they wear the blue jerseys. Those are sweet. 

Cincinnati 27, Baltimore 21 (7:15 p.m., NBC): This game could be a bloodbath. Those AFC North teams simply do not care for each other.

Dallas 31, Tampa Bay 10 (7:15 p.m., ESPN/ABC): The Cowboys are hardly any sort of juggernaut, but Tampa Bay, in all seriousness, is not even a playoff-caliber team.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I’m sensing a Kansas City Chiefs-Buffalo Bills Super Bowl (PUBLISHER’S NOTE…See below. JRG).

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. So who wants to tell him the Chiefs and Bills can’t meet in the Super Bowl?