DAILY DIRT: ‘The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes’

Daily Dirt for Tuesday, May 20, 2025

We all know that one person you would like to say any and all of the following to … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,289 of The Daily Dirt.

1. You know those people you run into on a regular basis that just once you’d simply like to put in their place?

The kind who have an opinion about everything. Everything. And usually that opinion is so misinformed it’s borderline hilarious. Just read MRN’s Facebook comments and you’ll find many of those poor souls.

All you want them to do is be quiet. Please, just be quiet.

Well, I’m always here to help and I think I have a solution, and no, there is no need for physical violence — although a good smack to the chops might not be a bad idea in some cases. But let’s concentrate on being peaceful and resourceful.

I offer these solutions to simply shut them up. I’m pretty sure any of the following will quiet them down, forcing them to think about not only what you said, but maybe even what THEY said. Feel free to use as many as you think might be required. And remember, we’re all about peace, love and harmony at The Daily Dirt. OK, a little embarrassment, too.

“Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go.” (This one will cause most to step back and ponder your remark. Most of it all, it should quiet them down while you make a peaceful exit from the conversation.)

“Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.” (A bit more harsh, but the reaction will probably be the same. They won’t be sure if you are kidding or not. When you walk away, they’ll know you were serious.)

“The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.” (This one will hit them about an hour later.)

“I understand everything you said. I’m choosing to ignore you.” (Save this one until you are near your wit’s end.)

“Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.” (Ditto.)

 (This one is likely to bring an immediate response, and if it does, hit them with the grand finale that follows … )

“You’re the reason God made the middle finger.” (Boom! You’re welcome.)

2. Did you know (Part 368)

• That Sprite is now the No. 3 most popular soft drink behind Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper, according to “Beverage Digest”. Pepsi now comes in at No. 4.
• That some of the most popular everyday Chinese dishes/delicacies are snake soup, crocodile meat, fried scorpions, pig noses, lizards and live baby mice. 
• That Linda Ronstadt, Chaka Khan, Bonnie Tyler, Pat Benatar and Cyndi Lauper are all now more than 70 years old.
• That “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard, “Get Outta My Dreams, Gent Into My Car” by Billy Ocean, “So Emotional” by Whitney Houston, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns N’ Roses and “Nothin’ But A Good Time” by Poison are all now 37 years old. Thirty-seven!
• That KitKat candy bars sell 192 million annually, and as popular as they are in the U.S. they are over the moon in Japan where are 300 different kinds and flavors. The most popular of those 300? Traditional (or “Classic”), of course.

3. This might be the funniest baseball-related line of the MLB season to date.

It’s no secret how bad the Colorado Rockies have been — worst start to a season in the modern era (since 1901) — so when CBSsports.com writer Matt Snyder dropped this observation Monday I thought it well worth repeating:

“The Rockies are so bad I’d rather eat the moist towelettes from my plate of wings than watch them play.”

For the record, the woeful Rocks lost again Monday night, 9-3 to the Phillies. Colorado is now 8-39, on pace for 135 losses.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I had a friend tell me she couldn’t believe Aldi sells those carts outside the store for 25 cents.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Bud Black is probably glad he got fired as Colorado’s manager last week.