Daily Dirt: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Halloween

Daily Dirt for Oct. 14, 2021

Call this the “Thinking Man’s Guide to Halloween,” some words that try and corral the thoughts tied to all that is involved with the annual celebration we observe in late October.

Consider that we are drawn to all that is Halloween by the symbols, thoughts, visions and words that connect the dots of this fearfest and are accented by ghosts, goblins … and candy. They are our three thoughts for Vol. 96 of the Daily Dirt:

1. Hold the thoughts about the candy for a minute and concentrate on the fear thing.

— “A mask tells us more than a face.” — author Oscar Wilde. (For some reason, this quote has been with me for days and fills by brain with visions of fog, cemeteries, witches and long, dark clouds making an attempt to suffocate the moonlight.)

–– “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” — Veronica Quaife (Geena Davis), from “The Fly.” (Probably what manager David Ross thought each time he summoned the Cubs bullpen the second half of the season.)

— “We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.” — author Stephen King. (What fans of the Orioles, Pirates, Rangers and Diamondbacks — all the 100-loss teams this year in MLB — are saying.)

— “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” — author L.M. Montgomery. (So do all baseball fans, even those who root for the Orioles, Pirates, Rangers and Diamondbacks.)

2. Granted, we all have our individual choices for the best candy to receive on Halloween, but what about the rest of the country? I’ve broken down information provided by candy.com about the state-by-state choices when it comes to Halloween treats.

Regional picks: Illinois: Kit Kats, Missouri: Milky Way candy bar, Iowa: Candy corn. (Obviously, there are problems in Iowa. As said in this space before, candy corn is absolutely disgusting.)

Other states to choose absolutely disgusting candy corn: North Dakota, New Mexico, Nevada, Idaho. (Just send all the candy corn in the country to those four states — and Iowa — and the rest of us can rest easy.)

Most unusual choice: Nebraska, Washington, Virginia: Salt water taffy. (Still better tan candy corn.)

Most unusual choice, runner-up: Kentucky, Swedish fish. 

Non-candy choice: Montana: Dubble Bubble bubblegum. (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: So gum isn’t candy? JRG)

3. Here’s the best Halloween joke I’ve heard today: What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music. (You’re welcome! I’ll be here all week!)

Steve Fact O’ The Day

Steve has not yet seen the new James Bond movie and he is not happy… (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Neither have I Steve…neither have I. JRG)

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He needs to go to the movies today.