DAILY DIRT: There has to be sound effects in today’s No. 1 pick, right?

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, May 28, 2025

How would you like to have to list one of the following films on your resume? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,297 of The Daily Dirt.

1. There’s bad, and then there’s BAD.

While that assessment can apply to most anything, today’s subject is movie titles. Just a reminder before you explore the following films, someone paid someone else a lot of money to come up with these titles. I think it’s safe to say it was not money well spent:

Gold medal: “F.A.R.T.: The Movie” (1991): Yep, this crude title belongs to a movie that is about exactly what you would expect it to be about.

Silver medal: “Freddy Got Fingered” (2001): It was a toss-up between this classic (yes, the term is used loosely) and the “F.A.R.T.” film for No. 1. How could I go against a good “F.A.R.T.” title? Of our pick for the silver medal, famed critic Roger Ebert wrote: “This movie isn’t the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn’t below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.”

Bronze medal: “The Hottie and the Nottie” (2008): This is a Paris Hilton movie, so I hope you were not expecting “Casablanca?”

Honorable mention 1: “Bad Ass 3: Bad Asses on the Bayou” (2015):This is the third installment of the Bad Ass franchise, which is probably about two too many.

Honorable mention 2: “The Men Who Stare at Goats” (2009): In case you were actually wondering, this George Clooney movie follows a journalist who uncovers the U.S. military’s attempt to employ paranormal powers in combat missions. 

2. Did you know (Part 376)

• That the creator Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups — Harry Reese — named the treat after himself.
• That Leo Hirschfield, the inventor of Tootsie Rolls, also invented a gelatin dessert that was the precursor of Jell-O.
• That the Milky Way candy bar, when introduce din 1920, was meant to mimic the taste of a malted milkshake.
• That Dots gum drops are both gluten free and vegan friendly. More than 4 billion Dots are rolled out annually.
• That North Dakota banned candy cigarettes between 1953 and 1967, fearing they would encourage kids to smoke real cigarettes.

3. Our favorite “Found on Facebook” offerings from the preceding week:

• “Tips on how to fall asleep in a living room chair: 1. Be old. 2. Sit in a chair.”
• “Feeling like a bad parent? Just remember: Raccoons literally toss their babies at predators to save themselves. You’re doing great.”
• “I have officially reached the age when I appreciate a good handrail.”
• “Kids today want iPhones. When I was a kid I wanted a 64-pack of Crayolas with a built-in sharpener.”
• “Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no reason to remind him every six months about it.”

Steve Thought O’ The  Day — I saw this the other day and can’t forget it: “If you get abducted by a group of mimes, they will do unspeakable things to you.”

Steve Eighigner writes daily for Muddy River News. He stole his thought of the day from Bob, who stole it from somebody else on social media.