DAILY DIRT: These retirees should have no trouble paying their bills


Cameron Diaz, retired at 51 with $140 million and still smoking hot. — David Shankbone/Wikimedia Commons

Daily Dirt for Saturday, May 18, 2024

For me, Cameron Diaz is shocker on that list, or at least her net worth … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 952 of The Daily Dirt.

1. There are nest eggs, and then there are NEST EGGS.

The following five entertainers, who all retired in recent years, should never have to worry about making ends meet. The following list includes only living entertainers.

  • 1. Jack Nicholson, net worth $400 million: Nicholson won three Academy Awards during a 50-year film career. Now 87, most of his spare time is now spent sitting courtside at Los Angeles Lakers games.
  • 2. Bruce Willis, $250 million: He officially retired in 2022 following the revelation he had aphasia, a brain disorder. The one-time high-energy action star is 69.
  • 3. Cameron Diaz, $140 million: Once one of the most sought-after actresses, Diaz announced her retirement in 2014. She is 51. 
  • 4. Linda Ronstadt, $130 million: One of the most versatile entertainers ever, Ronstadt, who won 11 Grammys during her singing career, was forced into a relative early retirement due to a Parkinson’s-like disorder called progressive supranuclear palsy. The condition left her unable to sing. Ronstadt, who is 77, has been retired since 2011.
  • 5. Meg Ryan, $85 million: One of the most celebrated rom-com actresses ever, Ryan’s last film was in 2015. She is 62.
  • Honorable mention: Gene Hackman ($80 million)and Daniel-Day Lewis ($60 million).

2. This week’s top celebrity birthdays include:

  • Former MLB superstar Reggie Jackson is 78 today. A top o’ the hat to “Mr. October”.
  • Country singing legend George Strait turns 72, also today. I don’t think I have ever seen George without his familiar cowboy hat atop his head.
  • Musician Pete Townshend of The Who will be 79 on Sunday. Who would have thought we’d still be listening to — and enjoying — Townshend and Roger Daltrey in 2024 after first hearing them in 1966?
  • Singer Cher celebrates No. 78 on Monday. Remember the “If I Could Back Time” video aboard that Naval warship. Now THAT was entertainment.
  • Former MLB pitcher Tommy John will be 81 on Tuesday. He won 288 games, has an operation named after him … and still isn’t in the Hall of Fame. Come on!

3. For those of you who thought he had forgotten about “Found on Facebook” this week, think again! Here you go:

  • “Being a trophy husband is exhausting.” (Couldn’t agree more … )
  • “I just discovered I’m the same age as Jerry Seinfeld.” (Me too!)
  • “Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on his stationary bicycle — twice.”
  • “One of the boys in my PE class just yelled ‘Caitlin Clark’ as he took a deep three. We’re in a new era people.”
  • “Back in the day, a McDonald’s apple pie was served at close to the surface temperature of the planet Mercury.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Depending on which report you might believe, there are between 84 to 152 people in the United States with the first name LOL.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He is the toilet bowl of trophy husbands.

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