Daily Dirt: This is a day for the fool-ish … and remembering Knucksy and Le Grand Orange

Daily Dirt for Friday, April 1, 2022
Ahhh … welcome to April, one step closer to spring. It’s also kind of a holiday for some people … Welcome to Vol. 249 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Some fool-ish thoughts for a day that celebrates such things. Happy April Fool’s Day!

Gold medal: “This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other 364.” — Mark Twain.

Silver medal: “Let us be thankful for the fools, But for them, the rest of us could not succeed.” — Mark Twain.

Bronze medal: “A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.” — Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton, English writer and politicians in the 1800s.

Honorable mention: “Today is April 1, April Fool’s Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don’t confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.” — Jay Leno.

2. Our preseason tour of the six MLB divisions continues today with the National League East:

Order of finish: 1. New York, 2. Atlanta, 3. Philadelphia, 4. Miami, 5. Washington.

Why: Four words — Jacob. deGrom. Max. Scherzer. If those two starting pitchers stay healthy, no other club in this group will touch the Mets. Atlanta and Philadelphia will have an interesting battle for second and a possible playoff berth, while an improving Marlins team (at the pitching side of things) should send the woeful Nationals to the cellar.

NL East MVP: Bryce Harper, Phillies. With the hitters Harper now has around him, this might be a 50-homer year for him.

NL East Cy Young: Jacob deGrom, Mets. Remember a year ago when DeGrom was on the way to shattering Bob Gibson’s modern-day ERA record? If he can stay healthy, that 1.12 mark could fall this season.

Best manager: Buck Showalter, Mets.

Best uniforms: Phillies. All of their combinations are solid and traditional.

3. Here’s five more from our “Found on Facebook” quest to find the best:

• “Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.”
• “I just got hit by a rental car. It Hertz.”
• “I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. I’m experiencing some constant vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.”
• “I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit. It was Lamb bikini.”
• “Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve notes that arguably the two most famous athletes born on April Fool’s Day were Phil Niekro and Rusty Staub. Niekro, a.k.a “Knucksy,” was a knuckleballing right-hander who won 318 games during a Hall of Fame career. Staub, also known as “Le Grand Orange,” is the only player in MLB history to collect 500 or more hits with four different teams.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He appeared in Playgirl on April 1, 1977.