Daily Dirt: This is a day for the fool-ish … and remembering Knucksy and Le Grand Orange

April 1, 2022 | By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Daily Dirt for Friday, April 1, 2022
Ahhh … welcome to April, one step closer to spring. It’s also kind of a holiday for some people … Welcome to Vol. 249 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Some fool-ish thoughts for a day that celebrates such things. Happy April Fool’s Day!

Gold medal: “This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other 364.” — Mark Twain.

Silver medal: “Let us be thankful for the fools, But for them, the rest of us could not succeed.” — Mark Twain.

Bronze medal: “A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.” — Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton, English writer and politicians in the 1800s.

Honorable mention: “Today is April 1, April Fool’s Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don’t confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.” — Jay Leno.

2. Our preseason tour of the six MLB divisions continues today with the National League East:

Order of finish: 1. New York, 2. Atlanta, 3. Philadelphia, 4. Miami, 5. Washington.

Why: Four words — Jacob. deGrom. Max. Scherzer. If those two starting pitchers stay healthy, no other club in this group will touch the Mets. Atlanta and Philadelphia will have an interesting battle for second and a possible playoff berth, while an improving Marlins team (at the pitching side of things) should send the woeful Nationals to the cellar.

NL East MVP: Bryce Harper, Phillies. With the hitters Harper now has around him, this might be a 50-homer year for him.

NL East Cy Young: Jacob deGrom, Mets. Remember a year ago when DeGrom was on the way to shattering Bob Gibson’s modern-day ERA record? If he can stay healthy, that 1.12 mark could fall this season.

Best manager: Buck Showalter, Mets.

Best uniforms: Phillies. All of their combinations are solid and traditional.

3. Here’s five more from our “Found on Facebook” quest to find the best:

“Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.”
“I just got hit by a rental car. It Hertz.”
“I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. I’m experiencing some constant vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.”
“I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit. It was Lamb bikini.”
“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve notes that arguably the two most famous athletes born on April Fool’s Day were Phil Niekro and Rusty Staub. Niekro, a.k.a “Knucksy,” was a knuckleballing right-hander who won 318 games during a Hall of Fame career. Staub, also known as “Le Grand Orange,” is the only player in MLB history to collect 500 or more hits with four different teams.