Daily Dirt: Those fish-filled doughnuts may have to wait

Daily Dirt for Thursday, April 28, 2022

I’m hoping Helen Mirren’s words are correct … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 270 of The Daily Dirt.

1. If you’ve reached your so-called senior years, here are some thoughts to help you make the adjustment from middle age to old age:

• “Old age is always 15 years older than I am” — late Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes.
• “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest” — Fr. Larry Lorenzoni.
• “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap”–  comedian Bob Hope.
• “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her”— comedian Rodney Dangerfield.
• “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my 87th birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit” — comedian George Burns.
• “Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f—ing awesome!” — actress Helen Mirren.

2. Here three interesting items I found available at fast-food restaurants around the globe:

Gold medal: In Singapore, you can get fish-filled breakfast doughnuts. You read that right. Fish-filled. Breakfast. Doughnuts.

Silver medal: In Japan, some McDonald’s provide fries covered in chocolate and pumpkin sauce. As if one or the other would not be bad enough.

Bronze medal: In Italy, some fast-food sites allow patrons to substitute fries for an individually wrapped bar of authentic Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. A burger and a bar of cheese. What more could you ask for?

3. LUV YADI remains No. 1 for a ninth straight week in the Great Plate rankings for license plates spotted across West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri.

• 1. (1.) YADI LUV: Yadier Molina still rules.
• 2. (2.) GOL D LOX: “Goldilocks” is a 1969 animated half-hour film. One of the voices is provided by Bing Crosby.
• 3. (3.) TAXED: Elon Musk will pay more than $15,000,000,000 in taxes this year, the most in American history.
• 4. (4.) GO SING: For the record, the Rolling Stones have had No. 1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100.
• 
  5. (5) SIR LAW: As long as SIR LAW remains in the rankings we’ll honor a lawyer or someone connected with jurisprudence. Today we tip our hat to Judge Holly Henze.
• 6. (6) TAKE DA W: I saw this plate again in the Quincy High parking lot Monday night.
• 7. (-) LUTZ GO 1: Calvin Harris had a major hit song in 2012 entitled “Let’s Go”. Close enough.
• 8. (7.) YIPPEIOKIA: Remember that catch-phrase from the 1988 “Die Hard” movie? Yeah, THAT phrase.
• 9. (8.) PAT PAT 1: Five famous people named Pat: 1. Sajak. 2. O’Brien. 3. Burrell. 4. Benatar. 5. Boone.
• 10. (8.) BASIC: “Basic” was a mystery-action 2002 film that starred John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson. It was a major bomb at the box office.

No. 1 Rankings: YADI LUV (9 weeks), GOL D LOX (2 weeks).

Steve Thought O’ The Day — In case you missed it, that was fish-filled doughnuts.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. I never knew license plates were a fetish until now.