DAILY DIRT: Twinkies, Teaberry gum, Clark Bars, Chuckles and Goo Goo Clusters

Never, repeat never, hassle The Hoff … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,004 of The Daily Dirt.

1. The decade was the 1970s, and we had some some of history’s most cherished snacks available at the corner grocery.

Do you remember?

• Twinkies: Seriously, was this the most coveted snack for boomers in their formative years? I wonder how many million of these little dandies Hostess sold on an average day?
• Ding Dongs: These were the poor step-cousins to the iconic Twinkies.
• Razzles: If you liked sour, you loved Razzles.
• Pez: If you loved Pez in the ’70s, you were guaranteed to grow up and be a fan of “Seinfeld”.
• Teaberry gum: My favorite!
• Bazooka bubble gum: With the inserted comic, of course.
• Zagnut candy bars: Believe it not, these rather nasty things are still around.
• Fruit Stripe gum: Remember when kids would trade the colors/flavors? No one ever wanted the yellow sticks.
• Clark bars: Thank heaven for the Zagnut bars, or these would have been the least favorite choice on the candy shelf at the corner grocery.
• Charleston Chew: Absolutely guaranteed to remove at least one filling each time you tried to eat this stuff.
• Bit O’ Honey: Absolutely guaranteed to remove at least TWO fillings each time you tried to eat this stuff.
• Sugar Daddy bars: Absolutely guaranteed to remove at least THREE fillings each time you tried to eat one of these.
• Goo Goo Clusters: Highly underrated, To this day, I really have no idea what was inside these, but they certainly were good. 
• Chuckles: The only one of the five jelly-like pieces anyone really wanted was the red/cherry one. And no one ever wanted the black licorice. No one. These were, more or less, the father of the modern-day gummy bear.

2. Did you know (Part 63)

• That the lead role in 1970s cult classic “The Warriors” was originally offered to Tony Danza. (Glad that didn’t work out.)
• That Harrison Ford’s role in “The Fugitive” was originally to be played by Alec Baldwin. (Ditto)
• That Warren Beatty turned down starring roles in “Schindler’s List,” “Boogie Nights,” “The Godfather,” “Wall Street,” “The Graduate,” “Superman”, “Kill Bill” and “Misery”.
• That the jaw of a grizzly bear is so strong that its bite can crush a bowling ball.
• That one teaspoon of honey represents the life’s work of 12 bees.

3. As is our weekly custom, we’d like to wish a happy birthday to the following celebrities:

• Actor Harrison Ford turns 82 on Saturday. From “Star Wars” to “Indiana Jones,” Ford is one of the all-time greats.
• Singer Linda Ronstadt blows out 78 candles on Monday. I can still hear the beat of her “Different Drum”.
• Former pro wrestling icon and later governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura celebrates birthday No. 73, also on Monday. Remember when he was simply known as “The Body?”
• Actor/comedian Will Ferrell will be 57 on Tuesday. Sadly, you can likely name the number of actual funny films he made on one hand — and not have to use all your fingers.
• Actor David Haselhoff turns 72 on Wednesday. Never, ever, ever hassle The Hoff.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Speaking of birthdays, legendary guitarist Brian May of Queen will be 77 on July 19. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He’s almost as popular in Germany as The Hoff.