DAILY DIRT: U.S. medal drought in five events continues

Daily Dirt for Saturday, Aug. 10, 2024

Oh well, there’s always the 2028 Games in Los Angeles … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,028 of The Daily Dirt.

1.  The Paris Olympics come to an end Sunday, and to be honest it feels about time for the event to be over.

I’ve seen enough stories about French cuisine, the polluted Seine River, no air conditioning in Olympic Village and had to view way too many pictures of the Eiffel Tower. I get it, it’s tall.

One story, however, that has been glossed over at these Games is America’s continued lack of success in five particular events of the Summer Games. For all of our majesty when it comes to track and field, basketball and swimming, we continued to be terrible in five specific sports — and we always have been.

Do you realize the Red, White and Blue has never medaled in the following:

Trampoline: Admit, you’re thanking the same things I am. Who cares, right? If our country does not have a pro league in a particular sport, it really doesn’t matter, and the last time I checked there was no U.S. professional trampolining tour.

Rhythmic gymnastics: Which is kind of crazy since we regularly dominate the mainline (or “artistic”) gymnastics competition.

Table tennis: I know, I know. A lot of world takes this verr-r-r-ry seriously, but I’m pretty sure most Americans feel table tennis (come on, it’s “ping pong”) is just something you play in grandma and grandpa’s basement on a Saturday night when there is nothing else to do.

Badminton: It’s just the outdoor version of ping pong.

Handball: In the 70 1/2 years I have spent on this Earth, I don’t remember ever knowing anyone who has played handball.

In closing our coverage of the Summer Games, one final thought: In Olympic history, the U.S. has won more 2,600 medals overall, so feel better about yourself my fellow Americans. Just because we suck in badminton, handball, table tennis, trampoline and whatever the heck rhythmic gymnastics might be doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. 

2. Did you know (Part 90)

• That the best one-hit wonders of the 1980s were “Come on Eileen” (Dexys Midnight Runners), “Take On Me” (a-Ha) and “Mickey” (Toni Basil).
• That a human being sheds 40 pounds of skin in his/her lifetime.
• That Buddy Ebsen and Bob Newhart were both from Illinois.
• That Missouri has produced two pro wrestling hall of famers in Harley Race and Cowboy Bob Orton.
• That if 1993 was not the best year for country music in the 1990s, it was certainly on the medal stand, thanks to songs like “What Part of No Don’t You Understand” (Lorrie Morgan), “Should’ve Been a Cowboy” (Toby Keith), “Thank God For You” (Sawyer Brown) and “Fast As You” (Dwight Yoakam).

3. The week’s best of “Found on Facebook”:

• “If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come in fourth place so I wouldn’t have to walk to the podium.”
• “Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.”
• “The inventor of the ballet skirt was struggling for a name until he put tu and tu together.”
• “Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers.”
• “If I ordered an axe from overseas and had it sent shipped … I’d have a foreign axe sent.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day – Another solid ’93 country hit was George Strait’s “Easy Come, Easy Go”.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. He is training for when trackburgering becomes an Olympic sport.