Daily Dirt: US-MALE holds off challenge from AUZZIE to retain No. 1 spot in Great Plate Debate

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, March 13, 2024

This might be the best “Found on Facebook” ever: “Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Not U2 again.'” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 892 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Another week, more great entries for the No. 1 position in the 2024 Great Plate Debate.

Never in the three-year history of keeping an eye out for the most clever license plates in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri have we had a new No. 1 two straight weeks, but that streak was almost snapped. The Daily Dirt Board of Directors spent hours going back and forth on the merits of US-MALE and AUZZIE, but in the end, the reigning king kept the throne. The Elvis Presley-influenced US-MALE remains No. 1, warding off the Paul Hogan-themed AUZZIE (“Auzzie! Auzzie! Auzzie!”)

A personal note: This may me the strongest medal stand this space has ever showcased.

Here’s the latest update of the medal standings:

• Gold medal: US-MALE.
• Silver medal: AUZZIE.
• Bronze medal:DA LIFE. 

The best of the rest over the past week:

• BUGEYE 9
• FRAN
• ALL NU 1
• ARCH 95
• 7 CROP E
• NOAH
• 1 BE DRY
• DIPI
• I IRISH 98
• AMERCA 6

2. The best of “Found on Facebook” over the past week:

• “A good woman is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to her.”
• “My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read it.”
• “Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Not U2 again.'”
• “I finally watched the documentary on clocks. It was about time.”
• “Today is International Women’s Day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.”

3. A baseball buddy sent me a list of players he believed were worthy of Hall of Fame status, but for whatever reason, none of the following have ever been selected. What do you think?

• First base: Steve Garvey.
• Second base: Lou Whitaker.
• Shortstop: Alex Rodriguez.
• Third base: Graig Nettles.
• Catcher: Thurman Munson.
• Left field: Barry Bonds.
• Center field: Vada Pinson. (If not the most underrated player in MLB history, he’s certainly in the starting lineup.)
• Right field: Dave Parker.
• Pitcher: Curt Schilling.
• Pitcher: Billy Pierce.
• Pitcher: Luis Tiant.
• Pitcher: Roger Clemens.
• Piitcher: Ron Guidry.

Steve Thought O’ The Day
There is actually no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allows to live. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Exactly who is on the Daily Dirt Board of Directors?