Daily Dirt: US-MALE holds off challenge from AUZZIE to retain No. 1 spot in Great Plate Debate

March 13, 2024 | By Steve Eighinger, Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Bono and The Edge of U2 perform at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass., on Sept. 21, 2009. | Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, March 13, 2024

This might be the best “Found on Facebook” ever: “Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Not U2 again.'” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 892 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Another week, more great entries for the No. 1 position in the 2024 Great Plate Debate.

Never in the three-year history of keeping an eye out for the most clever license plates in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri have we had a new No. 1 two straight weeks, but that streak was almost snapped. The Daily Dirt Board of Directors spent hours going back and forth on the merits of US-MALE and AUZZIE, but in the end, the reigning king kept the throne. The Elvis Presley-influenced US-MALE remains No. 1, warding off the Paul Hogan-themed AUZZIE (“Auzzie! Auzzie! Auzzie!”)

A personal note: This may me the strongest medal stand this space has ever showcased.

Here’s the latest update of the medal standings:

Gold medal: US-MALE.
Silver medal: AUZZIE.
Bronze medal:DA LIFE.

The best of the rest over the past week:

BUGEYE 9
FRAN
ALL NU 1
ARCH 95
7 CROP E
NOAH
1 BE DRY
DIPI
I IRISH 98
AMERCA 6

2. The best of “Found on Facebook” over the past week:

“A good woman is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to her.”
“My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read it.”
“Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Not U2 again.'”
“I finally watched the documentary on clocks. It was about time.”
“Today is International Women’s Day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.”

3. A baseball buddy sent me a list of players he believed were worthy of Hall of Fame status, but for whatever reason, none of the following have ever been selected. What do you think?

First base: Steve Garvey.
Second base: Lou Whitaker.
Shortstop: Alex Rodriguez.
Third base: Graig Nettles.
Catcher: Thurman Munson.
Left field: Barry Bonds.
Center field: Vada Pinson. (If not the most underrated player in MLB history, he’s certainly in the starting lineup.)
Right field: Dave Parker.
Pitcher: Curt Schilling.
Pitcher: Billy Pierce.
Pitcher: Luis Tiant.
Pitcher: Roger Clemens.
Piitcher: Ron Guidry.