Daily Dirt: US-MALE holds off challenge from AUZZIE to retain No. 1 spot in Great Plate Debate


Bono and The Edge of U2 perform at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass., on Sept. 21, 2009. | Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Daily Dirt for Wednesday, March 13, 2024

This might be the best “Found on Facebook” ever: “Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Not U2 again.'” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 892 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Another week, more great entries for the No. 1 position in the 2024 Great Plate Debate.

Never in the three-year history of keeping an eye out for the most clever license plates in West-Central Illinois and Northeast Missouri have we had a new No. 1 two straight weeks, but that streak was almost snapped. The Daily Dirt Board of Directors spent hours going back and forth on the merits of US-MALE and AUZZIE, but in the end, the reigning king kept the throne. The Elvis Presley-influenced US-MALE remains No. 1, warding off the Paul Hogan-themed AUZZIE (“Auzzie! Auzzie! Auzzie!”)

A personal note: This may me the strongest medal stand this space has ever showcased.

Here’s the latest update of the medal standings:

  • Gold medal: US-MALE.
  • Silver medal: AUZZIE.
  • Bronze medal:DA LIFE. 

The best of the rest over the past week:

  • BUGEYE 9
  • FRAN
  • ALL NU 1
  • ARCH 95
  • 7 CROP E
  • NOAH
  • 1 BE DRY
  • DIPI
  • I IRISH 98
  • AMERCA 6

2. The best of “Found on Facebook” over the past week:

  • “A good woman is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would’ve happened if you had just listened to her.”
  • “My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read it.”
  • “Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Not U2 again.'”
  • “I finally watched the documentary on clocks. It was about time.”
  • “Today is International Women’s Day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.”

3. A baseball buddy sent me a list of players he believed were worthy of Hall of Fame status, but for whatever reason, none of the following have ever been selected. What do you think?

  • First base: Steve Garvey.
  • Second base: Lou Whitaker.
  • Shortstop: Alex Rodriguez.
  • Third base: Graig Nettles.
  • Catcher: Thurman Munson.
  • Left field: Barry Bonds.
  • Center field: Vada Pinson. (If not the most underrated player in MLB history, he’s certainly in the starting lineup.)
  • Right field: Dave Parker.
  • Pitcher: Curt Schilling.
  • Pitcher: Billy Pierce.
  • Pitcher: Luis Tiant.
  • Pitcher: Roger Clemens.
  • Piitcher: Ron Guidry.

Steve Thought O’ The Day
There is actually no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allows to live. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Exactly who is on the Daily Dirt Board of Directors?

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