Daily Dirt: What happened to simply calling it a hamburger, cheeseburger or BLT?

Daily Dirt for Thursday, Jan. 12, 2023

The “Fat Darrell” may be the most intriguing of all … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 497 of The Daily Dirt.

It’s safe to assume we all enjoy a good sandwich, which led me on an internet search to see what are some of the top picks around the nation. About halfway through this culinary quest, my search took a different turn. I was impressed more by the name of sandwiches than the actual ingredients. Here are my three favorite monikers I came across:  

• Gold medal: “Menage A Trois,” Ike’s Place, San Francisco: It’s chicken bathed in three sauces — barbecue, honey mustard and honey — and three cheeses — cheddar, pepper jack and Swiss. “It’s weirdly fantastic,” according to coolmaterial.com.
• Silver medal: “Fat Darrell,” RU Hungry, New Brunswick, N.J.: The sandwich is loaded with chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, fries and marinara sauce. I have read where this is compared to a TGI Friday’s sampler platter on a roll.
• Bronze medal: “My Girlfriend Is A Whore,” Hana Food, Brooklyn, N.Y.: This one offers three whole kielbasa, tongue, eggplant and broken artichoke hearts. I would guess it would be awkward ordering one of these with your date standing right beside you.

2. Drive-In movie theaters continue to make a big comeback. A combined 18 drive-in theaters are scheduled to be in service this spring and summer in Illinois and Missouri. The ones closest to the Muddy River News area are the Skyview Drive-In in Litchfield, Ill., Route 66 Drive-In in Springfield, Ill., and the B&B Moberly 5 and Drive-In in Moberly, Mo.

3. You know him, you love him. Yes, it’s time for Geoff Eighinger to take over today’s edition.

Greetings, mudlings, and welcome to today’s Thursday Three Spot. Dad and I have both expressed our dislike for Madonna this week. What if the world could vote her out of the public spotlight? That should be a new thing. I’ll make a few calls to some friends and try to make that happen. 

Here are five other celebrities who I would like to vote out of the public spotlight. Political figures are excluded. 

• Julia Fox: Her pronunciation of Uncut Gems during her brief romance with Kanye made us laugh, but her outfits make us cringe. 
• Khloe Kardashian: No matter what former boo Tristan Thompson did, Khloe probably deserved it.
• Odell Beckham, Jr.: Simply take a hike. 
• Tom Brady: Just retire after you lose this weekend, please. 
• Vince McMahon: I don’t even need to explain. 

Here are my end of the season NFL Top Five going into week one of the playoffs: 

• 1. San Francisco 49ers (13-4): Ten straight wins to end the season! Will the momentum be stopped this weekend against Seattle? Haha. No. 
• 2. Buffalo Bills (13-3): My oh my, I sure wish that game with Cincy could have finished. Glad to see Damar Hamlin improving each day. 
• 3. Kansas City Chiefs (14-3): Like many top tier teams, they closed the season strong. Beware of Playoff Patrick. 
• 4. Cincinnati Bengals (12-4): Eight straight wins to close out the season, led by QB Joe Burrow and top targets Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins. 
• 5. Philadelphia Eagles (14-3): This team is a little sketchy right now. After dominating a large chunk of the regular season, the injury to quarterback Jalen Hurts makes their postseason chances questionable. The off week will help. 

Steve Thought O’ The Day
Who is Julia Fox?

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. The chances of him eating a Menage A Trois, a Fat Darrell or a My Girlfriend is a Whore is about the same of him kicking Rip’s ass and riding off on a horse into the sunset with Beth.