DAILY DIRT: When it comes to snacks, the chip is tough to beat … and who might be the first baby named Egg?

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Edward Carrothands?

I’m still have a problem categorizing a Cheeto as a chip, as you’ll see in a few paragraphs … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 506 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Of all the snacks I enjoy — and believe me, there are A LOT — my favorite is the chip.

Potato chip, corn chip, whatever kind of chip. You can have the Hershey bars and various pastries, but I need my daily dose of chips. Which got me thinking about what the most popular members of the chip family might be.

Here’s what Daily Dirt research found:

Gold medal: Doritos. “Hands down, Doritos Chips are the No. 1 best-selling chips of all time,” writes Robert Beadle of candyretailer.com. “Not only are they an all-American favorite, but they’re also the No. 1 top-rated Frito-Lay brand of chips worldwide; especially the original Nacho Cheese flavor.”

Doritos offers flavors such as Cool Ranch, 3D Spicy Ranch, 3D Chili Cheese Nacho, Flamin’ Hot Nacho, Flamin’ Hot Lime, Nacho Cheese Original, Cool Ranch, Spicy Sweet Chili, Chili Limon Dinamita Rolled Tortilla Chips, Spicy Nacho, Flames, Organic White Cheddar, Salsa Verde and Tapatio Hot Sauce.

My thought: You know, I’m not really a huge fan of Doritos. Occasionally, I enjoy a bag of Cool Ranch, but other than that I find Doritos much like the Gonzaga University basketball program — a lot of flash but no championships. 

Silver medal: Cheetos. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos is reportedly far and away the best-selling brand of these crinkled-up orange things. I’m totally amazed at this (see below). I probably would never have guessed any form of Cheeto would have made the top 10, let alone the medal stand.

My thought: I can’t emphasize how much this was a total shocker, Sure, I like a bag of Cheetos every now and then, but No. 2? My taste buds are obviously different from mainstream America. I’m not even sure I would classify them as a chip, but I don’t make the rules.

Bronze medal: Tostitos. Not only is Tostitos one of the best-selling chip brands in America, they are No. 1 of all tortilla chips in the whole world. A major selling point are the different varieties: Original, Bite-Size, Scoops, Heart Dippers, Hint of Lime, Salsa Verde and Cantina. My thought: The Original and Hint of Lime are far and away the favorites in the Eighinger mancave.

Honorable mention: Lay’s Potato Chips, Cape Cod Potato Chips, Ruffles Potato Chips, Pringles Potato Chips, Fritos Corn Chips.

Personally, my rankings would look like this:

  • 1. Lay’s Potato Chips (Original).
  • 2. Ruffles Potato Chips (Simply Natural or Baked).
  • 3. Sterzing Potato Chips (Original).
  • 4. Tostitos (Hint of Lime).
  • 5-tie. Pringles (Wavy).
  • 5-tie. Doritos (Cool Ranch).

Note: These rankings are not cast in stone and often change from week to week.

2. A friend sent me the following message via Facebook:

“People have always named children after expensive things such as Mercedes, Dior and Chardonnay. Next year watch for kids carrying names like Electric, Gas, Petrol … and Egg.”

3. Maybe only the hardcore baseball fans can appreciate this, but Hall of Fame slugger Ted Williams had the highest batting average, most home runs and most RBIs during his 19-year playing career than any other MLB player.

That means Williams had a CAREER triple crown. Just think about that. (For the record, his career average was .344. He hit 521 homers and drove in 1,839.)

Oh, and don’t forget Williams lost the equivalent of about five full years serving his country in the military. If that had not been the case, what might those career figures — especially home runs and RBIs — have looked like?

Williams also had some of the top nicknames of any MLB player: “The Kid,” “Teddy Ballgame,” “The Thumper” and my personal favorite, “The Splendid Splinter.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — I felt old earlier this week. I mean REALLY old. I saw a note that pointed out the eight starting quarterbacks remaining in the NFL playoffs were all BORN in the 1990s. Heck I was old in even back then. (OK, I know you’re trying to sort out all the quarterbacks. Here are the eight: Dak Prescott (1993), Daniel Jones (1997), Jalen Hurts (1998), Trevor Lawrence (1999), Brock Purdy (1999), Josh Allen (1996), Joe Burrow 91996) and Patrick Mahomes (1995).

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. His keyboard has to be crusted will all kinds of chip and snack dust.

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