Daily Dirt: When looking for the perfect name of your boat, just relax and let ship happen

It’s been more than 20 years since I have been on a boat, and I’m in no hurry for that streak to end … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 268 of The Daily Dirt.

1. For all those outdoor types, the calendar says it’s time for hunting and fishing and whatever else they do.

Obviously, I am not an outdoorsman. Admittedly, I prefer the easy chair and remote to fishing lines and camouflage. But what I CAN contribute to the outdoors scene is naming your favorite boat(s). Here are some suggestions I have come across:

• 1. Ship Happens: Nice …
• 2. Usain Boat: Olympic track and field fans will appreciate this the most.
• 3. Aboat Time: Don’t you just love those plays on words?
• 4. Water U Lookin’ At: Say it with a snarl …
• 5. Sea Ya: Simple, yet poignant.
• 6. Vitamin Sea: Go ahead, you want to laugh.
• 7. Zombies Can’t Swim: This is actually a boat harbored (is that the proper term?) in St. Louis.
• 8. Wet Dream: Who didn’t see this one coming?
• 9. Pier Pressure: Or this one?
• 10. Test Tackles: Say it faster …

Honorable mention: The Codfather, Master Baiter, B’Yacht’ch, Seas The Day, Cirrhosis Of The River, The Rodfather.

2. This week’s medal winners in the ongoing Great Plate pursuit:

Gold medal: LUTZ GO 1. Now that is creative, folks!

Silver medal: SAVANTE. Obviously, a person of learning.

Bronze medal: I FLY. I don’t.

The complete updated 2022 rankings are coming later this week.

3. The stadiumtalk.com sports website has ranked all 65 NCAA Division I football programs that make up the Power 5 conferences.

Here are the bottom five:

65. Kansas: No surprise here. The Jayhawks have been relevant for what, about five minutes, since Gale Sayers left.

64. Vanderbilt: Well, they’re still good at basketball.

63. Arizona: How the nighty have fallen.

62. Illinois: The Not-So-Fighting Illini have had three winning seasons in the last 20 years.

61. Rutgers: Sure, Rutgers was almost respectable last season with a 5-8 record, but there are many more mountains to climb.

Here are the top five:

1. Alabama: No surprise here.

2. Clemson: The Tigers missed the playoffs last year. Don’t expect a repeat.

3. Ohio State: Quarterback C.J. Stroud will enter the season as the Heisman Trophy favorite.

4. Georgia: My favorite Georgia product is David Pollack, now an ESPN analyst.

5. Oklahoma: The Brent Venables Era is about to begin.

(And for those wondering, Missouri was No. 47.)

Steve Thought O’ The Day — If Steve ever owned a boat — which he will not — its name wound be STEVE OH.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. His boat name would actually be “Where’s lunch?”