DAILY DIRT: When your wife says, ‘Go ahead,’ under no circumstance do that 

Communication is always the key to a successful marriage … right? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 916 of The Daily Dirt.

1. Any married man reading this first item will likely nod his head in agreement.

There are a handful of words and terms you never want to hear from your significant other. Feel free to correct me if you feel I’m wrong.

Example No. 1: Your wife says, “That’s OK … “

What is actually happening: IT’S DEFINITELY NOT OKAY! She is thinking long and hard about how and when you will pay for the error of your ways.

Example No. 2: Your wife says, “Fine … “

What is actually happening: IT’S DEFINITELY NOT FINE! This is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are right and you need to stop talking.

Example No. 3: Your wife says, “Whatever … “

What is actually happening: This is the Little Woman’s way of calling you an idiot.

Example No. 4: Your wife says, “Nothing.”

What is actually happening: When that two-syllable word is uttered when you ask if there’s anything wrong, you should be worried. Very, very worried.

Example No. 5: Your wife says: “Go ahead.”

What is actually happening: Never confuse this response with meaning she is giving you permission to do something or somewhere. It’s kind of a dare and don’t even think about doing or going. 

2. My pick for the best chili in Quincy? 

I have to go with Culver’s, and to be perfectly honest I had never tried it there until about three months ago. But I’ve been a believer ever since that first cup.

A healthy offering of meat is the key, providing the perfect balance with the accompanying beans and veggies. And there’s the hint of some sort of sweet aftertaste that is the piece de resistance.

3. Three medal-worthy observations for a Tuesday in April:

Gold medal: The only member of the original ZZ Top band who did not have a beard is named  … Beard. That would be drummer Frank Beard.

Silver medal: Forrest Mars, the man who created Peanut M&Ms, was allergic to … peanuts.

Bronze medal: The number 4 is the only number with the same amount of letters as the meaning of its name … four.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Why would Forrest Mars ever think about creating a candy with peanuts when he was allergic to them? I have no answer for that, but I will be eternally grateful that he he did.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Has he tried every chili in Quincy? Doubtful.