DAILY DIRT: Whether you believe in Bigfoot or not, this is rather extreme

If there actually was a Bigfoot, wouldn’t you think he would eventually find his way to terrorizing some remote fast-food site? After all, a place like that would have plenty of food, right (including the workers)? … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 342 of The Daily Dirt.

1. So, you think you’ve heard everything, eh?

A suspect is under arrest in Oklahoma for a bizarre homicide just outside the Ada, Okla., city limits. Law enforcement officers say Larry Doil Sanders, 53, admitted to family members that he had killed his friend, Jimmy Knighten, along the South Canadian River.

“(Sanders) appeared to be under the influence of something,” reported one officer. “His statement was that Mr. Knighten had summoned ‘Bigfoot’ to come and kill him. That’s why he had to kill Mr. Knighten.”

The Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation issued the statement, “Sanders and Knighten had been noodling (a kind of fishing by hand) when the confrontation ensued. Sanders reported striking and strangling Knighten.”

Sanders has been charged with first-degree murder. Much of Oklahoma, especially the area in and around where this incident occurred, has long been prime land for stories and rumors regarding Bigfoot.

2. Namester.com recently posted what it felt were the best “classic” names for a stripper.

I have no commentary here. I am simply reporting the news:

• Kitty Love
• Soft Snow
• Glam Toy
• Desi Play Leaf
• Honey Bunch
• Honey Munch
• Honey Bomb
• Gunslinger
• Mixiepie
• Mango Margo

3. Here is the week’s best of “Found on Facebook”:

• “Just got off probation and got a job at a laundromat. I’m gonna stay clean.”
• “What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.”
• “When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.”
• “My computer says press any key to tart. Where is the any key?
• “I once read that beans were John Lennon’s favorite vegetable, up until the time he decided to give peas a chance.”

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Wouldn’t a great name for a youth baseball or softball team be the Base Invaders?

You can read Steve Eighinger and his dazzling array of dad jokes every day in Muddy River News.