DAILY DIRT: ‘You are the trailer park, I am the tornado’


Daily Dirt for Friday, Dec. 9, 2022

Sports, more Beth Dutton and banana splits form today’s winning combination … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 471 of The Daily Dirt.

1. An old newspaper boss of mine and faithful reader of The Daily Dirt, Dave Hackenberg of Toledo, Ohio, sent me an idea for a topic here.

I’ve always counted “Hack” as one of my favorite people in the world, and though we have not seen each other in I don’t know how many years, I always look forward to his texts, notes, etc. To illustrate how old the two of us are, he hired me at the Times-Gazette in Ashland, Ohio, in the early 1970s and we’ve been good buddies ever since — even though he’s a Detroit Tigers fan.

Anyway, Hack’s question to throw out there was, “What two major sporting events would you want tickets to for the rest of your life? (I’m assuming those tickets would be free, or Hack would be paying.)

My choices would be:

World Series: Hopefully, at least one of the World Series I would attend would be at Progressive Field in Cleveland.

Daytona 500: I can’t even imagine what it would be like to “feel” the thunder of NASCAR up close and personal. I would also like to put the night race at Bristol on this wish list.

2. Our “Yellowstone” discussion continues today with some more memorable quotes from the show.

In my opinion, the gold-medal choice was a slam dunk, but picking the others took some deep reflection:

Gold medal: “You are the trailer park, I am the tornado.” — Beth Dutton.

Silver medal: “A man who puts a hand on a member of my family never puts a hand on anything else.” —Jamie Dutton.

Bronze medal: “We’re with the Yellowstone. Nobody’s gonna mess with us.” —Jimmy Hurdstrom.

Honorable mention: “There’s sharks and minnows in this world, Jimmy, and if you don’t know which one you are, then you ain’t a shark.” — Rip Wheeler.

Honorable mention: “Jimmy, cowboys don’t say goodbye.” — Rip Wheeler.

Honorable mention: “I’m not making it my fault, I’m making it my problem.” — Monica Dutton.

3. I’m not certain if this comment deals more with economics or baseball, but when I heard about Aaron Judge’s new nine-year, $360 million contract with the Yankees I immediately sought out the nearest calculator.

At $40 million per year, that averages out to $645,161.29 per home run, based on the 62 he hit last season. If, for example, he “only” hits 40 dingers in 2023 that would be a cool $1 million per longball. Not a bad gig, if you can get it.

Steve Thought O’ The Day — When it comes to ice cream-related treats, is there anything better than a banana split? And I mean a full-fledged banana split, not some cheap knockoff. I want a three-scoop, two banana halves, chocolate syrup, strawberries, pineapple, whipped cream and maraschino cherries banana split (Concerning the ice cream, I prefer three scoops of vanilla, not the kind that offer vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice creams. Also, a sprinkling of nuts can be good, too).

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Someone please tell him he has a calculator on his phone.

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