DAILY DIRT: ‘You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it, then you look away.’

August 3, 2024 | By Steve Eighinger Muddy River News Minister of Culture and Doctor of Love

Jerry Seinfeld was the ultimate straight man on his show ... in every possible way.

**Daily Dirt for Saturday, Aug. 3, 2024**

And as they say in the Muddy River world headquarters, “Hello, Adam!” … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 1,023 of The Daily Dirt.

1. We’ve reached the end of our tribute to “Seinfeld,” and fittingly, the final character to be spotlighted is Jerry himself.

Jerry was always the straight man when with his rather eclectic trio of friends — Kramer, Elaine and George — and most times was an unexpected voice of reason. Jerry was the only main character to maintain the same career (appropriately, a comedian) during the series’ run, unless you count Kramer’s unemployment.

Jerry also served a somewhat overlooked talent when he regularly commented on his friends’ quirky habits and choices in life.

For the record, Jerry appeared in all 180 episodes, the only one of the four to do so. Hey, it was his program, right?

Choosing a top three comments from Jerry was admittedly difficult, the following trio of thoughts from Jerry always make laugh:

Gold medal: “Hello, Newman.” (Remember, you have to say it with a snarl when you get to the “Newman” part.)

Silver medal: “She had man hands.” (One of the true classic episodes. Jerry could never imagine himself being with a girl friend who had such large hands.)

Bronze medal: “Looking at cleavage is like looking into the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it, then you look away.” (Nothing much else I can add here.)

2. Did you know (Part 83)

That the five MLB players with the highest career salaries are: 1. Justin Verlander ($404 million), 2. Miguel Cabrera ($400m), 3. Alex Rodriguez ($399m), 4. Max Scherzer ($351m) and 5. Albert Pujols ($346m).
That hummingbirds can’t walk.
That the word “uncopyrightable” is the is the only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating any letter.
That you take more than 23,000 breaths each day.
That Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. The bear is actually alive, but afraid to move.