Daily Dirt: Remember, sweat is little more than fat crying

It’s New Year’s Eve, folks. Be careful out there … welcome to today’s three thoughts in Vol. 174 of the Daily Dirt.

1. OK, Christmas and all the goodies that accompany it have come and gone. New Year’s and some more serious eating is almost upon us, but soon these brutal holidays — in terms of the waistline — will be a thing of the past.

And then what? Diet, baby! Diet! Most of us will make an attempt at losing a few pounds, but let’s be honest, most of us will fail. Miserably fail. Don’t feel bad, you will not be alone. Use the following thoughts for some solace while you munch on some chips and leftover holiday cookies. The ensuing words of wisdom are compliments of littlestepsbighappy.com:

• “Don’t listen to your inner fat girl. She’s mad, grumpy and misses cupcakes.”
• “Imagine the weight you are losing is going to a person you hate.”
• “I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen, temper and my mind.”
• “Sweat is fat crying.” (My personal favorite.)
• “Your body is not Amazon Prime. It is not going to show up in two days.”

2. The five most entertaining wives on famous sitcoms:

• 1. Edith Bunker, portrayed by Jean Stapleton: If you didn’t love the wackadoodleness of Edith, you should have your pulse checked. She was a very underrated co-star of “All in the Family”.
• 2. Peggy Bundy, portrayed by Katey Sagal: Everything that Edith Bunker was and represented, Peggy Bundy was not on “Married … with Children”.
• 3. Morticia Addams, portrayed by Carolyn Jones: Imagine June Cleaver crossed with Elvira and you have Morticia Addams of “The Addams Family” fame.
• 4. Debra Barone, portrayed by Patricia Heaton: Her character evolved as “Everyone Loves Raymond” did, and by the end of the show’s run she had become an integral — and funny — piece of the puzzle. Heaton is the daughter of the late Chuck Heaton, a famous Ohio sports writer.
• 5. Penny Hofstatder, portrayed by Kelly Cuoco: Add about 30 years, and Penny could be a modern-day Edith Bunker. She was an unsung hero of “Big Bang Theory”.

3. Some final words on the passing of NFL coaching/broadcasting legend John Madden:

I first fell in love with the big guy on late Sunday afternoons in the fall in the 1960s when the Raiders — with John Madden as their coach — were almost always the 4 p.m. NBC game when the network broadcast the old American Football League, and then AFC games following the marger with the NFL. That’s when the Raiders were truly the Raiders, complete with eye-gouging, punching and a wide-open offense led by quarterbacks like Daryle “The Mad Bomber” Lamonica, and later the legendary Snake, Kenny Stabler. Madden was an incredible 103-32-7 as Raiders coach, but more importantly, after he retired as a coach he brought the NFL to ensuing generations with his down-home, folksy approach as an award-winning analyst. I only wish I could have had a conversation with John Madden. I have to admit I had a tear in my eye when I heard Madden had died. Gone? Yes. Forgotten? Never.

Steve Fact O’ The Day: The first year Steve followed college football was 1966. There were eight bowl games. Fast forward to 2021 and there were 44 bowl games scheduled. 

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. What will his New Year’s Resolution be?