Eighinger: Descending into Disgusting…again

Steve Eighinger

In a recent contribution to Muddy River News. I mentioned such delicacies from around the world as jellied moose nose, Mongolian boodogs and mice wine. The jellied moose nose was pretty much self-explanatory, the boodog specialty involved large rodents and the mice wine was just that (with small bodies at the bottom of the bottle).

Well, just when you thought those menu items were likely the most disgusting things you could imagine swallowing, we present Round 2 of “why would people eat such stuff?”

First of all, I have no answer for that question — absolutely none — and am pretty certain I would rather starve than even mildly consider putting any of today’s culinary pleasantries in my mouth. Today’s offerings are so nasty we’ve decided to award medals for their repulsiveness.The envelopes, please:

Gold medal

I’ll just let writer Lauren Eads of the drinksbusiness.com website start today’s discussion. She has written about the popularity of eating animal penis as a source of lean protein.

“Bull, ox, yak and buffalo are among the most common eaten, particularly in eastern cultures, including China, and notably Beijing,” Eads penned. “According to those familiar with the delicacy, penis tends to taste tough and sinewy, and benefits from being braised or slow cooked.”

Well … thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stay with those Nathan’s hot dogs.

Silver medal

Casu marzu is the name, and I have to admit it sounds like a flavor at Baskin-Robbins or something similarly harmless. What it is in reality is quite, quite different.

Eads reports it is a Sardinian specialty made from sheep milk cheese that, when translated, means “rotten/putrid cheese.”

“It contains live insect larvae (maggots), which are introduced to the cheese in order to promote an advanced level of fermentation to break down the cheese’s fats,” according to Eads. “This allows the cheese to mature beyond typical fermentation to a stage of decomposition, brought about by the digestive action of the larvae of the cheese fly Piophilia casei. The result is a softening of the cheese, with some liquid known to seep out.”

Ugh. Go ahead, cover your mouth. I feel a bit nauseous, too.

Bronze medal

In Namibia, one of the favorite foods is warthog anus. (Did you just raise your eyebrows?)

Adina Serban of chefspencil.com says that to properly cook a warthog anus you must first pull it out, with the last foot of intestine attached, squeeze the feces out and then throw it in an open fire.

“Don’t mind the ash and dirt,” Serban writes. “It’s part of the process.”

For the record, the warthog anus should be well-cooked and served right away. Wow. Again I say, wow.And I also say I will never again complain about lukewarm fries from McDonald’s or soggy onion rings from Burger King.

Overrated, underrated

Overrated: Larry the Cable Guy, whose schtick is old, outdated … and still not funny. I’m not even certain I would classify him as a comedian any longer.

Underrated: Chris Rock. Sure, he’s famous, but he should be acknowledged as top-three famous.

Overrated: Batman. He would not stand even the remotest of chances against Superman in a steel cage match.

Underrated: Superman. C’mon, he’s Superman, for crying out loud.

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Steve is sooooo wrong here. Batman has contingencies for contingencies. He’s taken out Superman numerous times. He’s Batman. ‘Nuff said. JRG

The Dark Knight Returns (DC), 1986, by the great Frank Miller

Happy birthday 

Joan Jett: The leather-clad singer extraordinaire turns 63 on Wednesday. Rock on.

Bill Murray: The famous comedian will be 71 on Tuesday. Thanks for all of the laughs.

Guy LaFleur: He’s my all-time favorite NHL player, and he turns 70 on Monday.

And in the gone, but not forgotten category of September birth dates:

Gene Autry: The “Singing Cowboy” was born Sept. 29, 1907. He was 91 when he died in 1998.

Ed Sullivan: We all owe a debt of gratitude to the ultimate TV variety host, who was born Sept. 28, 1901. He introduced America to the Beatles in the 1960s. He was 73 when he died in 1974.

Phil Rizzuto: The famed Yankees shortstop — a.k.a. “The Scooter” — was born on Sept 25, 1917. The Hall of Famer was 89 when he died in 2007.

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