Eighinger: ‘It’s a dirty — and I mean dirty — job, but someone has to do it’

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I would guess most of you reading this today were probably not crazy about having to get up and go to work today. But I seriously doubt if the job you headed off to this morning compared to any of the five occupations that I have listed as the most undesirable positions in today’s marketplace.

So, the next time you complain about having to stay 15 minutes after quitting time to finish a report, or maybe need to make a few extra phone calls to track down information, simply remember you could be doing one of the following five tasks:

1. Manure inspector: “It’s a dirty — and I mean dirty — job, but someone has to do it,” writer M.A. Smith said on topresume.com. Smith points out that fertilizer is needed to raise strong, healthy crops, and the manure used for fertilizer requires inspection on a regular basis to guard against diseases and bacteria.

“Manure inspectors dig through the poop, thankfully not with their bare hands, to determine the quality of each batch,” Smith explains. Hopefully, the inspectors always remember to wash their hands at the end of the day.


2. Roadkill removal specialist: “Next time you see someone cleaning up poor Bambi, thank them for their contributions,” Reed writes. I can’t imagine dealing with the rancid smells, bacteria, blood and guts on a daily basis. Anyone remember the Loudon Wainwright song, “Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road?”

Crossin’ the highway late last night
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
He didn’t see the station wagon car
The skunk got squashed and there you areYou got your
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinkin’ to high heaven

3. Port-O-Potty cleaner: Workers actually have to go inside the waste storage area (read that again!) and clean it out. All I can say is you better not have an overactive gag reflex.

4. Sewage worker: Obviously, not a pleasant job anytime, anywhere. But it’s especially dangerous in India, where more than 1,000 have lost their lives cleaning the sewers. Apparently, the rats are mighty big there.

5. Whale snot collector: “Many people may not realize it, but marine biologists collect snot from blue and grey whales to run tests,” Reed said. “The danger comes from flying a small, propeller-driven plane over the whale as they, well, sneeze. (The biologists) catch the snot and transport it to lab for testing and analysis.”
So … think twice the next time before complaining about your job.

Found on Facebook

“I must be part squirrel. I attract all the nuts.” (There are days when this crosses my mind …)

“I don’t always listen to the Rolling Stones, but when I do, so do the neighbors.” (Not in my house. If I ever crank the volume past “2” the Little Woman comes completely unglued …)

“I recently took a pole and found that 100 percent of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.” (OK, read that again …)

“It’s not that I’m lazy, I just make sure to use energy-saving mode a lot.” (The key words in that thought were “a lot.”)

“I just need to eight to 12 hours of alone time in the morning, and then I’m recharged and ready to tackle the day.” (Sounds about right …)

Overrated, underrated

Overrated: Kale. No one actually eats this stuff. It’s glorified spinach and no one actually eats that either. Kale is described as having an “earthy” taste. So does dirt.

Underrated: Bacon. In human form, bacon would rule the world.

Overrated: Not only is popcorn overrated, but usually way overpriced, too. “Whether it’s salting your mouth to its driest depths, finding its way into any crevice of a movie theater seat, slicing up your gums (or getting stuck in your teeth), popcorn is out for blood,” writes Katie Milliken for remixmagazine.com. Katie nailed it.

Underrated: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. You can’t go wrong. There are now about a dozen different kinds, many featuring a heavy accent on the peanut butter. You can’t say that about kale.

Happy birthday

Paul Reubens: “Pee Wee Herman” turns 69 on Friday.

Rick Springfield: The Jesse’s Girl” and “General Hospital” singer-actor is 72 today.

Shelley Long: The actress who played Diane Chambers on “Cheers” is also celebrating today. She’s 71.

And in the gone, but not forgotten category of August birth dates:

Leo Tolstoy, author of “War and Peace”: If alive today, he would turn 193 on Saturday. He is often confused with singer Edwin Starr (“War! What is it good for! … Absolutely nothin’. Say it again, ya’ll.)

Frank Robinson, MLB Hall of Famer: A tremendous slugger who was born Aug. 31, 1935. He eventually became baseball’s first Black manager. Robinson was 83 when he died in 2019.

Lyndon Baines Johnson, 36th U.S. president: LBJ, born Aug. 27, 1908, was 64 when he died in 1973. 

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