Daily Dirt: The time has come for a wild-card fourth scoop of ice cream on a banana split

Kelly Clarkson is turning 40? That’s hard to believe … All that and more in today’s three thoughts making up Vol. 262 of The Daily Dirt.

1. If I had my way …

• A new-age banana split would be introduced at dairy stands, this one featuring FOUR scoops of ice cream instead of the customary three. The sauces would be strawberry, chocolate, pineapple and a wild-card the customer could select.
• Someone would develop a coney sauce (with a smattering of onions) that would somehow NOT find its way on to your favorite shirt. 
• Idris Elba would be selected as the new James Bond — or Daniel Craig would be coerced out of retirement for one more film.
• Some network or streaming service would bring back “Suits”. I really miss Harvey Specter.
• Speaking of TV wish lists, I keep waiting for one of the networks to reinvent the western. I would cast Jeffrey Dean Morgan (“The Walking Dead”) and Denis O’Leary (“Rescue Me”) as the lead cowboys, a sort of modern-day version of Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.

2. Let’s wish a happy birthday to the following:

Shemar Moore: The star of “S.W.A.T.” and “Criminal Minds,” Moore turns 45 on Wednesday. I watched “Criminal Minds” for years, always thinking Moore would some day headline his own show, and he’s perfect for the role of Sgt. Daniel ‘Hondo’ Harrelson on “S.W.A.T.”

Don Mattingly: The former Yankees slugger will be 61 on Thursday. Mattingly is still in baseball, managing the Miami Marlins

William Shakespeare: If the Bard of Avon was still among us, he would be 458 years old on April 26. For the record, I saw “Romeo and Juliet” six times in 1968. I didn’t care so much for Shakespeare, but had a mad crush on Olivia Hussey, who played Juliet in the film.

Kelly Clarkson: The first “American Idol” winner will be 40 on Sunday.

Jay Leno: The comedian and former late-night talk show host will be 72 on April 28. Remember when late-night talk shows used to actually be funny with hosts like Leno and David Letterman? (PUBLISHER’S NOTE: I don’t remember Jay Leno ever being funny. JRG.)

3. A few days ago recognized the most significant celebrity deaths so far in 2022. Today we look at the top deaths tied to athletics over the first 3 1/2 months of the year:

1. Bill Fitch: He was one of the most successful — and funniest — coaches in NBA history, presiding over the expansion Cleveland Cavaliers during the 1970-71 season that saw them post a 15-67 record, including 15 straight losses to open their inaugural schedule. At one point, that memorable Cavs team stood 3-35. Fitch went on to win an NBA championship with the Boston Celtics. He died Feb. 2 at age 89.

2. Dan Reeves: In 23 years as an NFL head coach, the former Dallas Cowboys running back went to four Super Bowls: three with the John Elway-era Broncos and one with the Atlanta Falcons. As a player, he was on the Super Bowl VI champions and as an assistant coach with Dallas in 1977 the Cowboys won Super Bowl XII. But as a head coach, with the Broncos, Falcons and New York Giants, he was 0-4 in Super Bowls. He won 190 regular-season games .He died Jan. 1 following a battle with dementia. He was 77.

3. Charley Taylor: The NFL Hall of Famer was one of the most accomplished receivers in league history. The former Washington Redskins great was 80 when he died Feb. 19. He was 86 when he died Jan. 10.

4. Don Maynard: Another of the NFL’s all-time great pass-catchers, Maynard was a favorite target of Broadway Joe Namath when both played for the New York Jets.

5. John Clayton: Known as “The Professor,” Clayton worked the NFL beat for ESPN for more than 20 years. Clayton died March 18 following a brief illness. He was 67.

6. Scott Hall: From the 1980s to 2010s, and through a variety of ring names, including the Razor Ramon, Hall sneered his way to glory as one of pro wrestling’s beloved bad guys. The two-time WWE Hall of Famer, who was inducted as both Razor Ramon and as a member of the New World Order (NWO) trio, died March 14, following complications from hip surgery. He was 63. 

7. Ross Browner: Ranked by 247Sports as one of the premier college football players of all time, Browner was arguably the college game’s dominant defensive player of the 1970s. The Notre Dame legend went onto a 10-year NFL career, primarily spent with the Cincinnati Bengals. Browner died Jan. 4 from COVID-19 complications. He was 67.

8. Joe B. Hall: Hall led the men’s basketball program at Kentucky to a national title during a 1972-1985 run as head coach. In 2012, he was inducted into the College Basketball Hall of Fame. He died Jan. 15 at age 93.

9. Lusia Harris: Harreis was one of the early pioneers of women’s basketball that helped bring national attention to the sport in the 1970s. Harris led Delta (MIss.) State to three women’s basketball titles, and then played for the U.S. women’s team at the 1976 Montreal Olympics. The 6-foot-3 Harris wanted to keep playing hoops, but “there was no place to go,” she said in the Oscar-nominated documentary short, “The Queen of Basketball.” “There was no WNBA when I came along,” she said. “It didn’t exist.” She was 66 when she died Jan. 18.

10. Dwayne Haskins: He threw 50 touchdown passes at Ohio State in 2018, leading the Buckeyes to a 13-1 record and Rose Bowl victory, but never enjoyed that kind of success during his three years in the NFL. Haskins died April 9 at age 24. He was struck by a truck trying to cross a highway as a pedestrian.  

Steve Thought O’ The Day — Steve, an Ohio native, remembers that first season Bill Fitch coached the Cleveland Cavaliers. “I was in high school and a big NBA fan, and believe me, they were every bit as bad as that 0-15 start indicated,” he recalls.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. More scoops, more better.