DUNCAN: The human condition affects billions each year

I don’t always live up to expectations.

In fact, sometimes when I know the expectations are there, I back away slowly until I find myself on the couch feeling guilty because I -once again- let people down.

But that’s not every day.

Other days, I rise above everything I even expected of myself. With some kind of crazy momentum that I don’t understand. Those are good days when I sink into end of the day with satisfaction that I am exactly who I am supposed to be.

Then there are days when my phone rings and I stare at it like it has a head growing out of it (actually that’s all the time, really). I have to sit in my car and breathe deep before opening the door and going to whatever thing I’m going to.

I find myself hiding in the clothes racks so I don’t have to ask someone else how they are doing so they can respond fine and then ask me the same question so I can respond fine too.

Really neither of us are probably all that fine. It’s December and we are in our 40s wandering around the Walmart technology department for something but have no idea what.

Some days I am super brave with my head held high ready to take on that hard conversation at work. Ready to ask the hard questions. And ready to respond on the spot.

I am waving at people from across the produce section and wishing them a Merry Christmas. I will probably hold up a piece of paper and holler out, “Look! I remembered to bring my shopping list!”

Oh boy. All the different versions is exhausting to keep track of sometimes.

I keep trying to figure out which of these is the real me. Am I ultra-productive or an utter failure? Am I outgoing or introverted? Am I a brilliant conversationalist or a bumbling fool who sometimes spits when she talks?

Truth is, I think all of these are me. I think that there are days I can nail it and days when the hammer hits my thumb instead.

There are days I feel like all the people love me and other days when I am convinced everyone is completely frustrated by my fails.

Turns out, I have suffered from a certain condition since I was born. It’s caused me to screw up and fail, rise above and conquer, and then fall right back down again.

It’s called being human. It’s a condition affecting billions each year.

Pretty much everyone I know suffers from this, other than a few who crossed my mind a couple years ago when the government announced that UFOs really do exist.

This condition often causes us to not meet the expectations of others or of ourselves, and we can all be pretty hard on one another when that happens.

We mess up on important things. We forget something. We back-out when we said we wouldn’t. We break promises. We lie and cheat.

In the midst of all of this, we fail God too. Which is something that He said we would do, as we all fall short in His glory.

And sometimes the human condition causes us not to forgive and not to let go. But that’s not who God is – redemption and restoration is always available to a repentant heart. It doesn’t mean consequences won’t be there or that He’ll say, “Oh well. No big deal.”

Instead He will lead us to better. And if we offer that same grace and forgiveness to each other and ourselves it leads us to that same place with God.

Don’t mistake me as telling you to stay in an abusive or toxic situation. You can forgive and let go meanwhile setting necessary boundaries or even walking away from a bad situation, with God’s love this is always possible.

Then that burden of someone’s else’s mistake is no longer yours to bear, it’s placed into His hands which are strong enough to hold it and deal with it.

And as for these overly-high expectations of a perfect spouse, parent, friend, employee, or a perfect YOU.

Drop those – we can’t set the bar higher than He does and expect to reach it.

Just rely on Him everyday, open His word and search it for answers when you feel like you’re failing. And give Him great thanks on those days you’re nailing it.

And if you’re hiding in the clothes rack at Walmart to avoid a conversation right now – scoot over and just pretend I’m not here.