DAILY DIRT: ‘If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers’


Daily Dirt for Saturday, Aug. 19, 2023

It’s the weekend after the first week of school when parents and students exhale and take a deep breath … Welcome to today’s three thoughts that make up Vol. 701 of The Daily Dirt.

1. So, how did that first week of school go?

To help you simultaneously look back and look ahead, here are 10 memorable thoughts about returning to school from some different perspectives:

  • 1. “Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.” — author E.C. McKenzie.
  • 2. “In school they told me practice makes perfect. And then they told me nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.” — comedian Steven Wright.
  • 3. “If you think your teachers are tough, wait ’til you get a boss.” — entrepreneur Bill Gates.
  • 4. “If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” — novelist Edgar W. Howe.
  • 5. “You send your child to the schoolmaster, but ’tis the schoolboys who educate him.” — essayist and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson.
  • 6. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” — writer Kurt Vonnegut.
  • 7. “Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” — author Fran Lebowitz.
  • 8. “But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. — actor and former U.S. president Ronald Reagan.
  • 9. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” — former U.S. president Theodore Roosevelt.
  • 10. “The first day of school: The day when the countdown to the last day of the school begins.” — Unknown.

2. Fun fact

The word “gymnasium” comes from the Greek meaning “school for naked exercise”. Hmmm …

3. Here is sports question that might win you some trivia contests.

Since 2017, who leads the Miami Marlins in home runs? That’s almost seven seasons. If you guessed Giancarlo Stanton (and really, I’m not sure why you would) you are correct. Here’s the kicker: During that span, Stanton only played for Miami in 2017 — but he hit 59 homers. Runner-up in that period is Brian Middleton with 57, who played for the team 2017-22.

Steve Thought O’ The Day – After listening to our three daughters in recent days, I realize how accurate Edgar W. Howe’s remark was … and is.

Steve Eighinger writes daily for Muddy River News. Summer makes people realize teachers should receive higher pay.

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